Cruel Laughter [Sequel To "Because He Lived."]

{Chapter 5} But...

I ran. I ran for as long as I could. I ran until I couldn't anymore. Until my feet hurt and I couldn't run anymore. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure that he wasn't following me; luckily he wasn't. With a sigh, I fell back against a nearby tree, hugging myself tightly, trying to stop shaking. It had been years since I had freaked out like this. I was always calm and collected. I never let myself get like this, but seeing my father--for the first time in years--had made me snap. 

I slowed my breathing, calming myself. I needed to know where I was, I needed to get back to camp and to Arsen. With my breathing back to normal, I pushed myself off of the tree and looked around. Nothing around me was familiar. I didn't recognize anything. It was just trees, grass, and plants, but I knew the woods well. It struck me as odd that I didn't recognize anything. Maybe it was just because I hadn't calmed down yet. I took a few more minutes to calm down the rest of the wall and then took off, walking in a random direction. I hoped that if I walked for long enough I would run into something I would recognize. 

For hours I walked. Hours, and I found nothing. I didn't understand why. I did run for a while, but it's not like I ran to a completely different country. Exhaustion caught up with me, and I collapsed against a tree. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

*

"James, get up."

The voice snapped me awake, and I looked around. Standing over me, was Arsen. He had a panicked expression on his face, and he was clutching his sword to his side. 

"Finally!" He exclaimed. "You're awake!" 

"How long was I out for?" I asked, standing up and stretching. I looked around and realized that I was back at our camp. Arsen must have brought me when I was asleep. 

He shrugged. "I don't know. I found you an hour ago and decided to bring you here." 

"Thanks, I guess." I nodded at him and looked around the camp. My sword was a few feet from me, leaning up against a tree. Why was it there? Last time I had it, it was in its sheath. 

Arsen noticed I was looking at the sword, and explained. "I took it off of you because I didn't want something to happen to it. Sorry."

I shook my head. "It's fine." 

He nodded, and then asked, "Why were you gone so long?"

"I saw my father."

Arsens' eyes widened. "Did you talk to him?"

I shook my head again, and walked over to my sword and picked it up. "No. I saw him from a distance and he saw me." I paused. "I don't think he followed me." 

"That's good," he said. "We don't need any more problems." I nodded in agreement and patted him on the shoulder. 

"I know I just woke up, but I'm going to get some sleep." Arsen gave me a nod, and I laid down on my blanket, letting myself fall asleep.

*

Words--fragments of memories--filled my dreams.

"We love you."

"But you need to control yourself"

"We won't leave you."

"But you need to stay here for a few days." 

"This won't hurt."

"But you might want to close your eyes."

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"But you need  to let these people help you." 

The dream continued on, flashing between when I was younger, and after I left my family. There was what might have been if I hadn't been insane; If I hadn't been born with a defect. Me with a family, a wife and maybe a child. Someone I could love. I know that could never happen, and I didn't want it either. Pain brought me happiness, and I would have to hurt them to be happy. Maybe deep down, I stayed away from people so I didn't hurt them. But I wouldn't admit that to myself. I always enjoyed hurting people and always will. There was no way that I could love anyone. Not anymore. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Sorry for not updating for a while. I had to test in school, and I've had a lot of things to deal with these past weeks. Hope you've been well. Peace~.