Cruel Laughter [Sequel To "Because He Lived."]

{Chapter 11} Your Mind

One second I was hugging Alexander, the next I was on the floor, clutching at my head and trying to rip my hair out. I couldn't see much, everything was just a blurry mess of colors. I could faintly hear Alexanders voice, but no matter what he was saying, I couldn't hear him. Then there was a feeling, it was light, barely there. It seemed like it was hovering above me. Then the feeling was gone, along with everything, and darkness consumed me.

When I woke up, I wasn't at Alexanders. In fact, I was really anywhere. It was white. Pure, blinding white everywhere. My eyes burned and my head pounded. I couldn't make anything out, it was all the same everywhere. The only thing I could make out was a faint outline of a man in the distance, but that was it. There was nothing, and there being nothing bothered me. It gave me a bad feeling--a feeling like I wasn't supposed to be there--where every there was.

I tried to look down at my hands, but when I looked down, there was nothing. It was like I was floating. I turned around to try and find the figure from before, but it wasn't there. Suddenly, when I turned around, I saw the figure, but it looked different. Now, something else was starting to form.

I saw his face first, long blond hair, and green eyes. He looked around 20, and he looked oddly familiar. I could have sworn I had seen him before. Then the rest of his body formed. He wore shining gold armor, and draped across his back was a purple cape that fell to the floor. The man was perfect--too perfect. Something struck me as godly, and I was sure he wasn't human. Part of me didn't want to be right.

I tried to form words, but nothing came out. It felt like something was stuck in my throat. My mouth opened, and nothing happened.

The man noticed my struggle and laughed. The laugh seemed far off and distant, almost like it wasn't really there. "Calm, child. There is no need for you to speak yet. I shall explain everything to you first. Relax."

I gave the man a nod and untensed my shoulders, letting myself relax a little. What made me trust him? I didn't know, but the aura he gave off was comforting and trusting.

"You've met me before, many years ago, when you were young. I doubt you remember. I am the Lord of Light: Feyeis. I granted you a power and gave your family protection." When he spoke, it didn't look like his mouth was moving, but the words were clear now, not distant. In fact, it seemed too close.

The memories from when I was younger came back--a sunny day, sometime in the fall. A pray, and a broken promise. The Lord had said--had promised--that we would be protected and safe from any darkness. But here I am. Living, breathing proof that he had lied, and we weren't protected. Now I remember why I tried to suppress that memory for so long. I didn't want to remember that I was basically a failed project.

I scowled at the Lord and struggled out two words, "You lied."

Feyeis shook his head. "I cannot lie to my children. Your problem is not something I can protect you from. It is not in your blood, it is in your mind." He took a step closer to me and grabbed my face in his hands. "Had I know this would have happened to you, I would have tried to stop it. But I did not see this. Perhaps is happened for a reason."

"You could have fixed me," I growled. "You have that power."

He only shook his head again. "I don't have the power to fix something like this. Only you do. James, when you wake up, try your best to fix yourself and become who you want to be."

"And even if you can't, there is someone out there who loves you more than anything, who will do anything for you. No matter what you do to them."

I looked him stunned and in confusion. "Who?"

He laughed again, this one more lighthearted. "My boy, you will find out soon enough, but you won't get there for a while. I'm afraid to say that there will be more suffering before you find out. I cannot stop that." He paused and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I cannot stop the will of men, because I do not have control over something that strong."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because the will of men, is stronger than anything I could ever do. Even if men's intentions aren't the best, I cannot stop them."

My mouth formed a silent "o" and my gaze fell to my feet.

"Be safe child. Use your mind wisely. You have to go now."

I looked around and the white was fading back into black again.

"But who..." Before I got to finishing my sentence all of the white was gone and I fell into darkness again.

~

I woke up with a jolt, slamming my head into whatever was above me. It groaned, and I realized that it wasn't a something, it was a someone. I blinked a few times to clear my vision, and when it cleared I saw Alexander above me, rubbing his head.

"Damn. That hurt."

"Crap, sorry," I apologized poking around. I was still in Alexanders house, but now the sun was setting and it was darker.

Alexander chuckled and took a seat on the bed--or whatever we were sitting on--before saying, "It's not your fault, I shouldn't have been right in front of you."  He paused, glancing over at me. "Are you alright? You passed out for a few hours."

"I-uh-I'm fine." As much as I trusted Alexander, I didn't want to tell him about my dream with Feyeis. Something told me not to. "I... uh.. think I was just really tired. I didn't get much sleep last night." Well, that wasn't a complete lie. I barely slept the other night--too afraid that the morning would come too quickly.

Alexander nodded in understanding, believing me. "That's fine. But you really--really, worried me. You should get some sleep now."

My eyes felt heavy, and even though I had been asleep for a few hours, I felt tired. "Good idea." I closed my eyes and positioned myself on the bed so I was comfy.

Alexander brushed the hair from my fore head and I felt him come extremely close to me, but then back away in an instant. He sighed and stood up from the bed. "Good night James. Sleep well. I... 'Night." I heard his footsteps fade away until I heard nothing at all. He seemed like he was going to say something, but stopped himself before he could.

I fell asleep to the dimly lit room, and the question of what Alexander was going to say.