I was hoping you'd catch me as I fall, but you didn't. I hit, back first, rock bottom instead. I became paralysed and couldn't move for a bit. Not all scars heal and you were certainly one of them because the trauma never really healed mentally. You were a million things and you still are.
I never had a passion for writing, but I was only left with words when you turned your back on me and left. So, all I was able to do was write to vent and to relive our moments. To remember and to forget, I want to do both. For you were amazing, wonderful but heartbreaking.
I hated myself for having such sixth sense when I saw you walking with her, to discover and to explore more on social media. Something in me sank when it was all true. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed but who was I to be in such a place?
When I heard you weren't doing well in your exams, I hoped and wished you could listen to me— to never give up. I wished I could secretly motivate you and shine some light on you.
I sometimes wish things were different just so I didn't had to click into your picture and stare at it for minutes then realise this was reality and in reality, we are strangers.
I look at the date once in a while because you were like an event in Reminders or an alarm that would ring at certain times of the year. But this time of the year— not so.
