I stopped caring when people no longer read my messages even though they're online— they're probably looking at a picture, doing work on their phone or maybe just not interested in replying me.
I stopped caring when people no longer thought hard enough about relationships— whether friendship or family bonds. Because what's all the matter? One could easily betray another and one could just play deaf and blind to another because of a movie ticket. Even if that movie ticket costs a billion dollars, it probably would never outweigh your blood.
I stopped caring when people started hurting me— taking me for granted, only realising my existence when they need my help. But, that doesn't mean I intend to hurt others as well. I admit that I may have made some rash decisions or maybe just not brave enough to stand up, but I never want to put anyone through the pain I felt. I really want to take my words back, but I don't know how and the fact that I'm hesitating doesn't make things easier. Maybe in a few more months, I'll know and I'll hopefully by then hear from you again. I can't promise that I can tell you why, but I'll try my best to explain. You certainly don't deserve to be treated this unfairly by me, and I'm sincerely sorry.
I stopped caring when the world fundamentally didn't seemed as what I thought it'd be— society, backlashes, and fakers. Who knows? I've probably turned into one of them or I might have always been one of them. Fake a smile at your enemy, their knees will start to shake. Fake confidence at your interviewer, that'll give you an upper hand. Doesn't that turn me into a faker already? I admire people who spoke their minds, who were never afraid to question their thoughts aloud, because obviously they don't care about what others might think of them and they're embracing themselves in every single way. They're brave, and I'm just not.
"It's our nature. We destroy. It's the constant of our kind. No matter the colour of blood, man will always fall." Quoted from The Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard. I was fond of it as a quote since I first read it but I'm only realising its meaning a year later, on the Friday the 13th. Of course, it has to be on the day where things are "supposed" to be bad. I guess this is the dark side of the Yin and Yang, or stress is overpowering.
