I remembered you as I was walking down the stairs and saw a couple in front of me. It occurred to me that we have never done such things— walking together, smiling at each other. And I smiled, because they look happy. Have we ever looked happy?
Was there even us to begin with?
I stopped dead, paralysed when your name appeared on the papers. Funny enough, it wasn't even you. How is it that you have such a similarity with someone so famous?
I saw you as you waited for her. I was surprised but mostly glad that I felt nothing— no pain or ache in my chest, instead I smiled and looked down. I smiled at my silliness, thinking we were still possible, in any way.
Why didn't you have the patience for me as you have for her? Why was I the odd one? Why am I left with so many unanswered questions?
But, even so, I will never have the courage to ask you all of this. For we were estranged, and I may have caused all of this— me wailing in my sorrow while you have fun in your best chapters.
On days like this where I don't have the motivation to study, I end up writing to or for you. Because when you left, I told myself I could numb myself by diving deep into books. And, I did. Surprisingly, it worked. So I guess that was how that year passed by so quickly for me.
With you being mentioned almost all the time in my Biology exercises, it's really quite hard for me to not stop and put my pen down to think about you, and us. Hey love, how are you doing? No amount of Taylor Swift love songs is enough to describe how I feel.
It was too real, yet too vague.
