say something | l.s.

- Chapter 26 -

Harry’s POV

It’s already the morning of December 31. I can’t believe that in less than 24 hours the year is ending and it’s starting another one. It’s not that I give much importance to that, because let’s face it, we’re only going from December to January again. It’s like going from April to May or September to November… Is it just me who thinks this way?

But well, it’s a pretext to go see my old friends and party all night. I don’t go to a party for months, I can’t even remember how it’s to feel drunk. Not that I miss those nights, but sometimes I like to have fun that way. But I changed that side of me because of Louis, I still remember his words.

“You need to grow up and instead of fucking every person you think it's all right, you should think about finding someone not just for one night stand.”

"You think is easy Louis? Do you think I don't have someone in mind? But it's not enough, me liking that person, so it's not like he's going to like me back, especially when he doesn't give a fuck”

"Well you're used to have everything in front of you in a blink of an eye. It's not fucking other people that you're going to gain something in here."

From that day forward I stopped partying so couldn’t get drunk and fuck a random girl or dude, instead I started to spend more time with Louis; to know what he does through the day, to check if he’s okay, to make him company so he doesn’t need to be on the library alone, to make sure I’m in the dorm with him so he doesn’t need to think that he’s alone… all of this was an excuse to be with him because at the end I just wanted to feel his presence. I know he has friends but I also know that they can hurt him while I can’t, I wouldn’t, I won’t… I know it’s kinda selfish but I want to make sure he doesn’t get hurt, so the best way is having him by my side. And even giving my best, fucking Bryan hurt him…

But Louis is with me now. He was with me all the time though and fuck, I can’t believe we’re this close now. I never thought this would be possible to happen. I thought the last time my lips were going to touch his, were the day he got drunk and changed into someone completely different… I thought my lips were going to miss his forever. The feeling was terrific, I didn’t want that. I wanted to feel them again, I wanted to have that memory, I wanted him to kiss me, I wanted him to feel something, I wanted to kiss him and show what I felt through it… I wanted a real kiss.

I had it. God, we haven’t been doing anything else than kissing these last week, even if it has to be me always kissing him. He changed, he hasn’t been raspy to me and he had this thing that while he talked to me he wouldn’t look at me. Now he does it and it makes me melt the way he speaks in a soft tone while his blue eyes are on me.

He used to shout at me and even being mad when I teased him or complimented him, I never understood why by the way – well just when I teased him – but now he just blushes, or smiles shyly or even giggles. Jesus it’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen and heard; his eyes crinkle and he covers his mouth with his hand. I also noticed the way he still gets nervous while we’re getting ready to go to bed so he starts touching his fringe or passing his fingers through his hair. I stop him because that’s my job. Now I can stay awake till he falls asleep, touching his hair, making sure he feels okay and relaxed… I think I can’t fall asleep first, always with the fear that he might disappear or if something happens.

We didn’t do much these days, there wasn’t much to do though and is freaking cold outside so going for walks is almost not an option. So we spent them at home, watching movies or playing video games, normal guy’s stuff really. But Louis also managed to read the book I gave to him. He was so excited to start reading it, his face was something that deserved a pictured when he opened the book and started reading the first pages. He read it in three days and to be honest I think his expression at the beginning, from pure joy, isn’t worth it… because if I knew he would cry that hard at the end I’d never thought about buying that god damn book. It was awful. I knew he was only crying because of the book but it was devastated to see. Multiple tears were streaming down his face, I didn’t know what to do to stop them. I hugged him, I let him cry on my shoulder, I pat his back, everything but he didn’t stop sobbing and whispering “It’s not fair!” A part of me wanted to laugh and when I said to him that “It’s only a character from a book, you don’t need to cry this way.” He pulled me away and pushed me out of the bed. I can be used to it but this time it hurt, a lot.