say something | l.s.

- Chapter 27 -

[an:/] biggest chapter of all the time. thanks for the people who talked to me on twitter and the one who sent me a message here, I hope it was worth the waiting. i love you all So... 50 VOTES and 25 COMMENTS? (i know it's a lot but please it'd mean the world!)

Songs from the chapter

Only Love by Ben Howard 

Wait by M85 

*

We quickly get downstairs and Harry doesn’t look at me all the way to the lounge too, which just confirms everything I saw. I walk forward without them to sit on the same place I was before calling them, and Mark and Anna are still there as well. I take a shot, gulping it at once. “Are you okay Louis?” Anna asks, sat on Mark’s lap.

“I’m fine.” I answer not even bothering to look at her. She says something else but it seems too far for me to hear.

Why am I even putting myself so down because of this? We just kissed, so what? Last year we were really close and even if I pushed him away he kept hitting on me and most of the people thought we were dating. And I was supposed to hate him, look where I am now.

I’m being so stupid, maybe it’s all a misunderstanding. Harry said he loved me, he said so many things, he proved his feelings so he wouldn’t hurt me like this after everything. Hurt. Am I hurt because of what I saw? Because I’m jealous? I don’t even know… I don’t even know what I feel for Harry and the only person who can get hurt here is Harry.

“Hey, Lou.” I hear Harry sitting next to me. I didn’t even notice that Anna and Mark walked away, by how entertained I was playing with the small empty glass. Why am I doing this to myself?

“Hey!” I can’t look at his face though. This just proves that I fucking have feelings for Harry and it’s hitting me like a truck. I don’t love him, I don’t feel half of what he feels for me, but I still feel something and it sucks. I also feel like I’m being selfish and maybe being a jerk towards Harry, I don’t want to hurt him but it feels like I’m playing with his feelings since he loves me… This is really fucked up.

“Sorry that I allowed Anna to take you away, but I’m gonna stay with you now.” He speaks like nothing have happened and it’s pissing me off. Not even an explanation he has to offer me? Okay then

“It’s fine.” It’s not. It wasn’t fine at all. I wanted him by my side and if he was, he wouldn’t be with her, that way.

“So are you enjoying the party?” fuck you I want to say. But I only say that to myself. If we start arguing, I’d make a scene just to humiliate myself. He’d probably laugh or not taking anything serious like always. When was me with Bryan he looked like the devil, I never saw him that way. He shouted, he said he didn’t want me with him and he even hurt me in a way, to be fair. I should do the same now but I can’t. I’m not like him and if I do that I’m just giving too much importance 

“Are you?” I ask instead of answering him, still not looking at his face. “I bet you are” I say in a lower tone, which I don’t know if he’s able to hear due the loud music.

“I am.” He laughs. He’s fucking laughing. It’s probably funny for him, I see.

“Can you stop fucking laughing?” I look at him this time in annoyance. Did we really return to the old times?

He doesn’t stop laughing though and I need to take a deep breathe to calm myself down. He’ll always take me on my nerves no matter what. “You’re jealous”

“What the fuck?!” I shout, is he fucking serious?

“Oh Jesus Louis… Are you mad about what happened upstairs?” no I’m perfectly fine with the fact that you still might have feelings for your ex-girlfriend. He never talked to me about her, I thought he only had Bryan before. God such a mess.