Baby Daddy (S U P E R N A T U R A L fanfic)

Bargaining

Zooming down the highway between two blurry walls of greenery my grip on the steering wheel tightened. Tears stinging my eyes I refused to blink. Werewolves, I could handle. Vampires, I could handle. Deadbeat moms appearing after you found your baby daddy, I couldn't handle. I laughed once without humour. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. As a child I didn't understand. As a teenager I lost myself and as an adult I finally got it together and then she shows up and... I growled, putting more pressure on the gas. The car responded excitedly, the engine kicking into a deep roar.

I wiped away the tears on my cheeks. Wasn't this what I always wanted? To bump into my mom and have her pled for my forgiveness? To say she took it all back, and say that she regretted not keeping me? I hit the steering wheel in frustration, the barriers that were holding back the tidal wave of tears breaking.

"Oh god." I whispered, my shoulders slouching and my food easing in the pedal. What had I done? I'd been horrible to my mother.  

"Oh god!" I repeated, barely louder than a whisper. Before she even knew me she was helping me and now I hurt her. As the car rolled to a stop I hit my head repeatedly against the steering wheel. But she hurt me first. I broke down, my hands making their way into my hair. My heart ached.

"The reason behind a-all of this was because it was just too close to my own story." I stuttered between breaths.

"You have to understand why this was so important, why I tracked you down." I whaled, turning to Dean. He sat angled towards me, his face covered by shadows and blurred by my tears.

"I get it. I do, but Megan it's not her fault... she was young-" I held my hands up in surrender and cut him off.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't want to think about any of this." Unbuckling my seatbelt I pulled my legs up and over onto his side. Straddling him I grabbed a fistful of hair and moved his head so that I exposed his neck. I planted soft kisses on his jaw and sucked gently, slowly making my way down to his collar bone.

"You're not thinking clearly." He murmured, his hands on my hips tightening. I moaned, rubbing my most sensitive part on his leg.

"Shut up and take your pants off." I said before taking his face between both my hands and pulling him into a kiss. Gently coaxing his mouth open with my tongue I frenched him, my hand travelling down his body and squeezing his bulge. He removed my hand and pulled away.

"I can't believe I'm saying this. But no. Stop. I understand why you're upset, alright. More than you know, but this -" he said, gesturing  between us. "- isn't going to help." I paused, my head falling on top of his. He didn't want me either? Opening his door I climbed out and took deep breaths of the cool night air.

"Don't pretend like you know exactly what I'm going through. You have no idea what this feels like Dean." I mumbled as he got out the car, my rage turning into anger. He crossed his arms over his chest.

"My mom came back from being dead for 33 years and then ditched us again because she wasn't fitting in so yeah - I think we're in the same boat."I felt my shoulders slump. What the hell did that mean? I looked up to the sky, my hands making their way into my hair and grabbing fistfuls. I don't think I could take anymore news. Why now? Why was this happening to me? I inhaled a long shaky breath, watching the wind rustle the tops of the trees. Barely keeping it together and trying hard not to break down fully, I wiped the back of my hand across my snotty nose and sniffed, tears still silently running down my face. At the sound of crunching gravel I looked down in time me to see Dean's big arms reaching for me, and pulling me into his chest. I hugged him back desperately, burying my face in his shirt.

"Do you ever just feel like the world is on your shoulders?" I mumbled into it. I felt his chin rest on top of my head.

"Yes." He whispered, his hand on my back rubbing in soothing circles.

"How did you deal with it?" I asked, pulling away slightly so that I could look at his face. His soft eyes looked darker under his frown.

"I drink."