Permissive

Chapter 11 (Final Chapter)

Third Person's POV

Camila slowly rolled out of bed when the morning came. Surprisingly, she had a good sleep, and she doesn't know why. But part of her thinks that maybe it's because she has Lauren's address, and she finally has the chance to see the green eyed girl again. But she doesn't want to give her self false hopes. Because let's be real. This is not fairytale, where Princess Camila finally found Knight Lauren and after that, they'll live happily ever after. No. That's not reality. Because reality is Knight Lauren left Princess Camila three years ago when they were about to have their happy ever after. Knight Lauren doesn't want to be found. But Princess Camila is stubborn. She will see Lauren and she will talk to her.

And what will she say?

That brought panic to Camila's system. She doesn't know what to say if she see Lauren. Will she go ballistic and confront the girl? Or will she talk to her calmly? Will she tell her how her life is right now? But what if Lauren doesn't want to talk to her? What if she doesn't want to see her? Maybe that's why Lauren doesn't want to be found.

Ugh.

This is why she hates being alone.

But she also feels hopeful. Because she's been waiting for this. Yes, she might have denied a thousand times that she doesn't want to see Lauren anymore, but humans lie to other humans. And sometimes they also lie to their selves. She badly wants to see Lauren. To run her eyes over Lauren's features. To stare at those beautiful emerald eyes. To get lost in her beauty. To feel those dinosaurs go wild on her stomach. She badly wants to see her girl. To see the only person she have loved more than herself. More than Michael. She badly wants to feel her skin. To feel her touch. To feel those feelings that only Lauren can make her feel. To smile so wide that her cheeks are aching, but ignoring it because she is happy. She badly wants to hold her hand. To see Lauren's smile. To see her emerald eyes brightening. To have her attention. She badly wants to feel those long forgotten happiness that only Lauren can give. She had buried those forgotten happiness under her heart.

She sighed. Is it wrong to have these kinds of thoughts? She has a boyfriend and here she is, planning her meeting with her ex-fiance. But she couldn't help herself. This is her last chance. She's not hoping that after her meeting with Lauren (if she ever meet her), the things between them will be back to normal. That they'll be together again. And she doubt if Lauren would still want to be with her, because Camila knows Lauren is blind (base from the walking cane she saw yesterday) and she probably doesn't want Camila to suffer. She's not really hoping.

Okay. Lies.

She might have a little bit of hope on her heart.

She grabbed her bathrobe and entered the bathroom to take a shower. She was massaging her scalp when her thoughts went to Michael.

Michael is a nice guy. Hell, nice wouldn't do justice on him, because he's beyond nice. He's the man that all girls would want in their lives. Girls who are over with their past lovers. He is patient. He is loving. Kind. Smart. Independent. Confident. And Camila was her first girlfriend. Maybe, his first heartbreak. Hurting Michael is like kicking a cute looking innocent puppy. Camila doesn't want to hurt Michael. And she feels guilty because she knows she'll hurt him sooner or later. She'll break his heart. She doesn't deserve him. But she love him and as much as she loves Lauren, she couldn't leave the boy. He has done so much to her. He endured so much pain just by being with her. But why does it feels like it's wrong being with him? Why is she having second thoughts? Why is she doubting her relationship with Michael? Why now? Why doe it feels like she's betraying Lauren? Like she's cheating on her? Is it because she saw Lauren?