Hypocrisy (Austlan Cashby)

Chapter 13

For someone with insomnia, I sure was tired all the time. Although, I'm beginning to think that I've trained my body to shut down when I'm too sad. Before, I just wouldn't feel like talking when I was sad, resulting in my lips aching from the frown that plastered on my face. No one noticed though, maybe thought I was just having a bad day when in reality, I was having a bad life. Still am, depression doesn't just go away with a tinge of happiness.

I was also becoming more and more surprised at my thoughts. I'm so smart in my mind. I say big words and everything makes sense when it's in my head. I can have a full on argument with myself, and make it sound like the smartest thing ever. But why is it that I don't talk like that? I would be way more interesting to listen to. Maybe it's because nothing that any talks to me relates to the debates in my head. I'm shit at starting a conversation about something that I want to talk about.

"What are you thinking about?" The kid that sat next to me in fourth period questioned, pulling me out of my thought process and invading my personal space with his elbow.

"Nothing," I replied, praying he'd drop it and turn back and not talk to me ever again. Putting my lip between my teeth, I bit into it and slid it back and forth between my teeth. Loving the way the soft skin felt under the pressure.

"It doesn't look like nothing and your lip is bleeding."

He shouldn't be conversing with me, he's too outgoing, too upbeat. Pressing my fingers to my lip, I pulled them away to find blood on the tips.

"Shit," I muttered, getting up to get a tissue.

When it was done bleeding, I sat back down to where the kid, surprisingly, still wanted to continue on with a conversation.

"Do you like My Chemical Romance?" He asked, shocking me. I looked down and realised his shirt, a spider printed on the front.

"Danger days? Is that your favourite album by them?" I asked, suddenly interested in continuing on a conversation with this guy.

"No, Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, by far," he said, defensively.

"That's my favourite too."

He smiled at me.

"My names Phil, what's yours?" He asked.

"Alan," I answered, sticking my hand out for a handshake but surprised when he pulled me into a hug. Reluctantly, I hugged him back. We pulled away and started to babble about bands we liked.

-

I met Austin at his locker and sighed with impatience, he was taking forever.

I was poking Austin and telling him to hurry up when I saw a familiar face walk down towards the set of lockers next to us.

"Phil!?" I called out, smiling when he started to look over.

"Hey, man!" He pulled me into a bro hug, one period gives you time to know a man and I was surprised to say that I could officially consider Phil a friend.

"Austin, hurry your shit up and talk to my new friend!" Austin had just shoved the last of his books in his bag and swung the bag over his shoulder.

"Alan Ashby made a friend!!???" He shouted, faking his surprise.

"Asshole, yes I made a friend."

"I'm Phil," Phil said, hugging him like he had hugged me.

Austin wrapped his arm around me and the three of us talked about different stuff.

"Hey Phil, you should come over to my house with me and Austin!" I suggested, secretly hoping he'd agree.

"Sure! My mom won't care, leggo!!" I smiled at his excitement.

-

I brought out popcorn, a 12 pack of Mountain Dew, three rock stars, and a large bag of sour patch kids. Setting the food on the table, I sat down by Austin who was playing a game with Phil, muttering curse words under his breath every time he did something stupid.

At the end of the game, Phil had won and didn't miss the opportunity to rub it in his face, like anyone would. Austin pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Hey it's okay, you're always a winner in my heart," I whispered in his ear, kissing his cheek and about to kiss him when I felt a pair of eyes on us.

Turning around, I looked at Phil who had just seen and heard us.

"Are y'all together or something?" He bluntly asked.

"Yes, Alan and I are together," Austin chimed in, nervously.

"That's cool, y'all are cute together, like I ship it and shit."

I laughed, "What would our ship name be?"

"Austlan, Austlan Cashby," Phil said.

"Austlan Cashby? I like it," Austin confessed, pulling me closer to him.

Austlan Cashby, I thought, I like that.