Dirty Holiday - (18+) (COMPLETED)

Trivialities

How do describe that undefinable moment, the moment when that taught up air in your lungs whooshes its way out from you lips, that release you feel when a feeling finally fights its way free?

'That was extremely awkward.' Xander coughed amused from the couch, and already my lungs had begun to refill themselves with tension.

'Don't stay and make yourself uncomfortable by any means.' I snarled.

'Woah, it seems preggers is already got her swing on.' He muttered.

'Why talk to me like I'm someone else?!' Okay I had to admit I was being overly sensitive, but I doubted it was my pregnancy.

'Sorry.' He said looking generally petrified.

'What are you here for anyway? Make my life even more of a discomfort?'

'No, I just wanted to check how you and the...baby were doing.'

'We're doing just fine, thanks for the visit.' I had hoped my hint hadn't been too blunt, yet he hadn't seemed to  have gotten it at all.

'I'd love to combine names to make the babies name.' He smirked obnoxiously stroking the couch.

'Combine names?'

'Xander and Zofia. Fianer. Derfia.' He paused then saw my unimpressed reaction. 'Okay maybe they aren't the best combinations but you could work on it.'

'I think the decision should be mutual across all three of us.' I quietly said leaning against the wall.

'Oh. Okay.' Xander shrugged acting as if it was no big deal. 'Are you going to find out the gender before the birth?'

'I'm not sure Xander, please I just need some space as you could clearly see my mothers visit did NOT go down so well.'

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your space. I honestly just wanted to help.'

'Help how?!'

'Sometimes a bit of human comfort can help.' He offered patting the sofa beside him, I threw a bemused look at him. 'Alright then, what's on your mind?'

'My mother just stormed out of here.'

'No ones stupid enough to think they're parents would stop talking to them over a tiny feud like that, she'll think it through come back and what to participate in as much as the babys life as possible.'

He had got my thoughts deep, my eyes glazed over as I stared at the door.

'So now that's out of your worries what's the real big concern? Lucas?' He asked quietly causing my skin to raise slightly.

'Nothing.'

'Zofia, I can tell there's something wrong.'

'You don't know me.'

'Come on talk to me, this stress could effect the baby.'

'How dare you! Don't you blackmail me into talking by suggesting my child could be hurt by keeping my feelings to myself.' I wished my eyes would stop flowing my mind had no control on my tears anymore.

'For your mental stability, talk to someone, even if that someone isn't me.' Xander raised an eyebrow. 'That baby is mine too if Lucas damages it at all, he won't live to see the sun rise.'

Xander got up quickly and opened the door without a word.

'Why do you care?' I blurted.

'I'm not a monster.'

He was gone, and I was left feeling like the whole world was pissed off with me. I felt in such a state that if I bottled my feelings up if it shook slightly it would be like a molotov cocktail so it was better to release in spurts and hopefully cause a less dramatic effect.

If I hadn't of met Xander how would my life be? I might not be pregnant but there's a lot less chance I would've reunited with Lucas... But equally I couldn't be backtracking my life like that, I couldn't live in constant regret. This baby could be the best thing that will ever happen to me if I allowed it.

It was hard to know what to do with myself after that series of disasterous events. So I did what I knew would be best, I shuffled my way to the freezer and dug around for my favourite comfort food ice-cream, when I came out empty handed I knew my world was about to come crashing down.

I could surround myself with comforting pillows or I could go out and fill my tummy with delicious carmel and chocolate chips.

There wasn't really much choice in it, tummy needed goodies so I threw on a comfy coat, grabbed my purse and headed out.

Luckily the co-op was fairly empty so when I shuffled my way around people didn't look at me like a decaying zombie, it was a cheerful thought but that's the best way to describe it, slumped shoulders, feet dragging... The only difference was that my mission was for ice-cream not brains.

Going to the local store was completely ordinary but right now I felt out of place, like a young girl going to do an errand for her mother for the first time.

Once I'd paid for three tubs of ice-cream I made my way out and jiggled the change into my pocket.

A poster caught my eye, bright blue with news of a town centre parade next to it a bright pink poster advertising prenatal classes for 'tummy mummys', maybe it'd be worth my attention perhaps I'd find another knocked girl with the same mistakes as me in this day and age it's highly likely.

I balanced my ice-cream tubs on one arm whilst taking a picture of the poster with my phone on the other, and of course predicting my lack of elegance I dropped my phone cracking the screen. Great. Although honestly I was grateful it wasn't the ice-cream, now no one could bug me.

Picking up my shattered phone I ignored the poster and made my way home for a well needed sugar binge.

I checked my mail box and was surprised to find a thick parcel, I'm so ditzy, I must've forgotten that I had ordered something.

After placing my ice cream, parcel and broken phone on the counter I locked the world out threw my shoes off and retreated into comfort heaven.