Echotale - Thought So (G!sansxFrisk)

Dramatic News

*Frisk's POV*

Thoughts of Leah filled me, and my contact with reality seemed far off.

There was so much I hadn't said, so much I should have said. 

She should have known how brave she was, how courageous. She was courageous, but she could never get my answer.

Would it have mattered? 

If I had told her yes, in her dying moments if I had screamed yes, would it have been worth it?

Would it have mattered?

My words slapped me over and over, screaming at me, telling me that it mattered, that she mattered, the answer mattered, and she was gone now.

Gone without an answer to the question.

It was all my fault.

'If you only screamed yes,' I told myself, still trembling in G's arms as I cried with my eyes shut tightly, 'If you screamed yes, if you had only said yes! Yes oh god yes! You should have said yes!' 

Yet I hadn't spared even one second to speak.

All I had done was cry out her name, listening to her voice as it strained in a horrific scream, her body being trampled and killed under hundreds of people.

Going back.

I wanted to go back and change my words.

I wanted to go back and find someway I could have helped her.

I wanted her to be alive, be with us now.

I wanted her to be a coward.

I wished she had never had the courage to stay back and hold the door.

I wished so much, I wanted so much, yet everything seemed so far away, so impossible.

Because it is impossible.

Letting go of what had happened seemed to be the best option, but I couldn't allow myself to fight the regret that continued to scold me, telling me about how I should have said yes, telling me how I should have helped.

Telling me about how much of a coward I was.

Coward.

I was a coward.

There was nothing more to me then a weak coward that could do nothing in the face of danger.

So many have died because of me, and I couldn't stop thinking about the sick Peace Plan and how if maybe I agreed to it in the beginning, none of this would have happened-

If I had never met G, none of this would have happened.

No!

Thoughts pounded against my skull, but I couldn't let them blame everything, I couldn't let them blame anything else, not even myself.

This wasn't something that could have been stopped.

At least, not in a good way.

But where was the justice?

Where was the peace?

Justice seemed like a fake thing to me, something that had never existed.

It seemed like an excuse that everyone used to get what they want.

But it was never real.

It was never there.