One Direction Preferences

131. He Makes You Cry During a Fight

Harry:

He watches it happen too, in slow motion like it was a film and none of this was real.  But it was real, and every harsh word he had said and every vase he had broken in a fit of anger that night was real. And so were the tears that fell down your cheeks; they were real too.

And he can’t help but feel bad about himself, as much as he hopes that he can convince himself that you deserved it – that you deserved the harsh words he had uttered, just as you had thought the same of him.  And then there’s this pause, between his string of insults, and somewhere in those few seconds it occurs to him that he was wrong and he’s by your side in an instant; telling you that he didn’t mean any of it, and that he loved you, and he’s begging for you to not leave and walk out on him like he knew he deserved.

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Liam:

He was stressed, and he really hadn’t meant it when he said those things to you. But even though he hadn’t meant them, they still hurt all the same. And it wasn’t like it was typical for him; to just come home so angry, and let his temper get the better of him. He wasn’t one to yell - he was sweet, and quiet, but sometimes he got frustrated and now was one of those times.

And he never would have said any of the things that he had if he was in his right mind. But he wasn’t; he was stressed and frustrated and he just hadn’t been himself as of late. And his frustration only seemed to grow – quicker than he would have liked it to – as he realises that you just won’t stop crying, and that his holding you sweetly in his arms like he used to wasn’t doing a thing to make you feel any better. And he can’t help the feeling of such disappointment – disappointment in himself, that he had brought you to tears – and the lurching feeling in his chest as his heart shatters into a million tiny pieces.

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Zayn:

He had scared you, because the roars coming from the man were loud and deep and full of anger and not the same soft, raspy whispers that sleepy Zayn muttered when it was too early in the morning for him to be up. And it had terrified you, to watch him just snap, and change from such a sweet person into what he was now; a monster.

And he notices the tears streaming down your cheeks, silently, and you’d ignored them and hadn’t bothered to wipe them away; pretending that they weren’t there even when they were, and you knew they were. And he’d quieten, and not a sound would leave his lips as a pained expression appeared on his face and he’d flip back to that sweet Zayn; not the one who had done anything to hurt you. And then there’d be this silence, as he shakily raised a hand to your cheek to wipe away the tears, and you flinched in fear that he had other intentions, before he dropped it again upon realising that you thought he’d do such a thing to you. He shakes his head, mumbling out something you couldn’t quite catch, before leaving the room because he honestly couldn’t stand himself in that moment.

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Louis:

You had tried, you really had, to hold back the tears and not let him see just how much he had hurt you. And you had tried to keep your voice from cracking and your tone even as you spoke in a voice much quieter than the yells that had slipped past your lips earlier that night. And it had nearly gone unnoticed by him – the tears sparkling in your eyes and the lump in your throat. But he wasn’t stupid, and he knew the minute you spoke, hushed and in a tone too calm for such a situation, that you were about to cry.

And he dreaded the tears that he knew would spill, because he knew it would just crush him. He could hear your sighing too, just a soft exhale, and he knew what was about to follow. The second he sees the tears fall, and hears you let out the first sob that invited so many more of both –after having to hold them back for such a long time –, he’s angry. And he wasn’t angry with you, but rather himself, and he keeps saying sorry for saying such harsh things earlier that night and throwing the accusations that he truly regretted; hoping that maybe, if he says it enough, it will be like it never happened.

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Niall:

The instant he sees the tears pooling in your eyes, his heart swells. He really hadn’t meant to take it as far as he had, but his anger had gotten the better of him, and now here he was watching his nightmare come true as he realises that you’re crying, and the thought that he was the one to bring those tears to your eyes only hurt him more.

And he can’t help the soft cuss that slips past his lips, even though he knows you don’t like it when he swears, before he’s holding your sobbing figure in his arms and attempting to quieten your cries.

“No,” he’ll murmur, just softly, as he realises that he’s not doing anything to make it okay or to make the tears stop falling, “No, no, no.” And then he’s right back to blaming himself for everything, telling himself that it was his entire fault that the fight had even happened, let alone that you were crying.

“I’m so stupid!” he’ll yell, his arms no longer around you as he knows it’s not doing anything to stop the tears, and it’s not calming you down one bit. That’s usually the point at which he’ll break something, or slam his fist against the counter, or maybe even bang his head into the wall a few times as he realises that all the anger he felt was what had driven you apart and what had made you so upset. And then he just sort of collapses into a heap on the floor, defeated, and cries because he hurt his princess, and he had promised you – and himself – to never do that.