Let's go back to the start

21. The Lag

Arias POV
I finished up with the girls quite late in the afternoon, so I grabbed some Chinese takeout and headed to Ezra's apartment. I made my way through the door seeing Ezra sitting on his laptop. I plonked the Chinese food on the counter and made my way over to him. By this stage he had already swung around in his chair to face me.

"Hey how was your day?" I asked taking a seat on his lap and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Yeah really good, Jackie and I sorted some things out" he replied smiling "Oh and she wasn't feeling to well. So I let her crash in the bed" he exclaimed pointing towards the bed. I looked over to see Jackie asleep in his bed. Our bed. I was fuming on the inside but tried not to let it show.

"Oh do you want me to leave?" I whispered loudly.

"No of course not" he replied grabbing a picture off his desk. "This is my son" he exclaimed handing me the ultrasound picture.

"It's a boy!" I said giving him the biggest fakest smile. I tried to cover it by leaning in and kissing his lips. I stood up still staring at Jackie.

"Yep" he replied beaming with excitement. It broke my heart that he was having a baby with another woman. I always thought it would be me a few years down the track. I smiled and stood up I needed to get out of here. I looked down at my phone and pretended that I had gotten a text message.

"Ezra I really have to go" I said leaning down planting a kiss on his lips.

"You're not staying for dinner?" he asked staring at the takeout bags.

"I really have to go" I replied looking over at Jackie one last time before grabbing my hand bag and made my way quickly from his apartment. Once out the door, I stopped and leant back against the wall. I closed my eyes and just tried to breathe. I hadn't taken any notice that Ezra had opened the door and was standing in front of me. I opened my eyes as a tear slid down my cheek. He grabbed me and pulled me tightly into his arms.

"Everything's going to be alright Aria" he soothed stroking my hair as he placed a kiss on my forehead. "Let's meet for dinner tomorrow" he suggested smiling.

"Sure" I replied before pulling myself from his grip and leaving.

Ezra's POV
I walked back into the apartment and closed the door quietly trying not to wake Jackie. I felt a little piece of me shatter walking out and finding Aria so hurt. I hadn't really thought about the implications the baby was having on her and how my excitement made her so miserable. I knew I needed her in my life and hoped in time that she would accept that nothing needed to change. I started digging in to the Chinese takeout that Aria had bought over and sat down to watch tv. I felt arms wrap around my neck and felt a chill run down my spine.

"Thank you so much for letting me crash Z. This little man's taking away all my energy" Jackie mumbled leaning her cheek onto the back of my head. I pulled away and quickly stood up.

"Want to join me for some Chinese?" I asked power walking into the kitchen to grab her a fork.

"Yeah sure I was actually craving Chinese. It's like you can read my mind" she replied smiling picking up a box and digging in. We ate in silence not knowing what to say. "Z we need to talk about the babies living arrangements when he's here. I think it's ideal that we maybe get a place together and raise him under the same roof." she said taking another bite of Chinese.

"Um... I don't know if that's a good idea. I think we can raise our son great without having to live together" I replied knowing Aria would hate the thought of me being anywhere near Jackie.

"Ok well I'm sure we will figure it out" she said sounding a little upset. "I have to go but we will talk soon". She placed a kiss on my cheek and left.

I lay in bed that night with so many thoughts running through my head. It's not like I hadn't thought of living with Jackie and raising our baby. But I couldn't live without Aria, I had met the love of my life and she was standing beside me through it all. She was definitely one of the strongest women I have ever met.

Aria's POV
I made my way home and straight upstairs. I sat on the seat in front of the window and laid my head back against the window. By now the whole town would have heard that Ezra's expecting a baby with Jackie. Mom knocked on my door and slowly pushed it open. She must have seen my miserable self-wallowing in self-pity.

"I heard about the baby" Mom said looking a little disappointed as she took a seat across from me.

"Sorry I lied to you" I whispered not sure on what else to say. She kept her eyes focused on the ground. "Are you mad?" I asked leaning forward trying to gauge her expression.

"Mad no...sad a little that I don't know how to help you in this situation" She replied sadly looking back to my face.

"Am I just crazy to think this can work?" I asked.

"It's definitely not going to be easy" She replied honestly.

"It's difficult now but as soon as this babies born-" I said as she cut me off.

"Will be more complicated" she answered continuing my sentence.

"Ezra seems so happy to have the baby in his life" I told her feeling my heart sink as I said it out loud.

"Well having a child is great but it completely changes your life. It stops being about what you want and starts being about what you can do to make your child's life better" she stated.

"I know that things are going to change between us obviously. The question is how much?" I asked as tears started to develop in my eyes.

"Well what does Ezra say about this?" she asked taking my hand.

"Um...he thinks it can work if we both try" I replied as a tear fell from my eye.

"Maybe it can but it's also ok if you don't want it too" she said looking into my eyes.

"I love him" I said as the tears started to pour from my eyes.

"I know that you do. But not every relationship is meant to last forever and sometimes the best thing you can do, is take a step back and give yourself a chance to breathe" she said as she pulled me in for a hug. I cried my eyes out onto her shoulder drenching her shirt. "Come down for dinner when you're ready honey" she added pulling back and wiping the tears from my cheek.

"I love you mom" I said as she got up to leave.

"I love you too sweetie" she replied before closing the door behind her.

Sunday seemed to drag forever. I caught up with the girls and ended up balling my eyes out all over again. Why did it have to be this hard?