Let's go back to the start

22. Hard Times

Ezra's POV
I made my way to the small vegan restaurant that Aria loved and found her already seated at a table. I walked up to say hello but got interrupted from my phone ringing. I looked at the caller ID and seen it was Jackie. I told Aria I would be a minute and stepped back outside the restaurant to answer the call. It was nothing serious Jackie just wanted to tell me the baby kicked, which was really exciting news. I looked through the restaurant window noticing Aria staring looking upset. I told Jackie I would talk to her later and made my way back to the table.

"That was Jackie she wanted to tell me the baby was kicking. I'm not surprised having my genes I was a very active kid" I said excited taking a seat back down beside her.

"Ezra I don't think I can do this anymore" she said as her face turned serious.

"What...What do you mean?" I asked a little shocked.

"It's not just the two of us now and eventually someone's going to wind up hurt" she replied as I just stared in shock. "And I would rather it be me" she added. We sat there in silence for a moment before she continued "I just need to go home".

"Now? Ok just let me get a waitress" I said looking around the restaurant.

"You finish" she said pausing before continuing "I'm going to walk. I think the air will be good for me."

"Hey I've had these days and I promise you things will be different in the morning" I replied taking her hands and planting a kiss on her cheek. She gave me a weak smile before collecting her jacket and bag and walking away without even a second glance. The waitress bought our food over and I ate both lots before heading home to my quiet lonely apartment. I sat on the couch and thought about everything that was happening and knew how hard it was going to be and how much harder it was for Aria.

Aria's POV
I had walked home in the pouring rain with my eyes full of tears. Why did things have to be so hard? We're happy one minute then completely destroyed in the next. It was like life itself was trying to tear us apart. I had a shower and placed on some dry clothes I walked out of the bathroom to find a text from Ezra 'Hope you got home ok, meet me tomorrow outside the Brew at 8'. I didn't reply as I didn't know if I had the heart to tell him I wanted out. He's the love of my life and I have to say goodbye. At some point through all the tears I dozed off. I had a dream where Ezra married Jackie and they bought their beautiful baby boy home to a four bedroom house with a white picket fence. It was a nightmare for me, a complete horrid nightmare. I lay in bed wondering whether I could finish my schooling elsewhere so I could get away from Rosewood and hopefully put enough distance between Ezra and I and the whole Jackie situation. Just start new.

I had a quick shower and headed out the door. I was determined to say good bye and try to move on. I arrived early and sat on the park bench out front the Brew. It bought back so many memories of the night Ezra and I got back together. My lips tingled remembering the kisses he had planted there that night and how they will no longer exist. I spot Ezra making his way towards the bench.

"Hey" He said walking over and taking a seat. "Is everything ok?"

"Ezra I'm not sure I can do this anymore" I replied as I started to cry.

"Hey don't cry, don't cry. We're ok" he said trying to soothe me.

"No were not, nothing about us feels right anymore" I replied staring at the ground as another tear dripped from my eye.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. I could tell he was holding back his tears.

"It's not your fault" I said knowing fair well it was mine. Jackie had come back into his life because of my stupidity.

"I want to fix this" he said as his voice caught in his throat.

'I know. I know but you can't. We've been chasing after what we used to have before you found out about the baby. I just don't think we can ever get that back" I replied.

"Things aren't easy, but they can still be good" he said as a tear slid down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away.

"Things shouldn't have to be this hard" I stuttered as tears kept rolling down my face.

"If you're not happy anymore?" he asked placing his head in his hand and looking at the ground. He looked so completely lost. "You know that's what matters most to me" he added.

"Hey I've loved you just as much as I always have" I said trying to get him to look at me but he just looked absolutely shattered. I stood up and walked away. I felt his hand grab mine and turned back around to face him.

"Aria wait" he said clearing his throat "I love you" he said looking into my eyes for the first time our entire conversation. It killed me not to pull him up and kiss away all his pain. I thought I would collapse, I just needed air. I took a deep breath and let go of his hand and walked away never looking back.

I thought about not going to school that day but maybe I needed to. Just to take my mind off everything. I made my way to school early and sat down in the computer lab to check my emails. I had received an email a few days ago from the Manhattan School of Music offering me a spot for my senior year fully paid by Grant and Brionne the music producers. Maybe this was my chance to get away. I only had a few weeks left before Christmas break.

I printed out the admission forms and headed towards moms classroom. I looked through the glass pane to make sure no one was in her classroom then made my way in.

"Hey mom, can we talk?" I asked making my way in and leaning against her desk.

"Sure honey. Is everything ok?" She asked looking worried.

"Yeah as good as it can be. I received a spot in Manhattan School of Music next year fully paid and really want to take it" I replied smiling hoping she would say yes.

"What about your friends here?" She asked. I really never thought about them.

"It's only a 2 hour drive I will come back and visit all the time" I replied.

"Is this anything to do with Ezra?" She asked skeptical.

"No...I mean Ezra and I broke up but I want to do this for me" I answered partially knowing it was also to get away from the Jackie situation.

"I'll talk to your father. But honestly if it's really something you have your heart set on I think it would be good for you" she replied smiling. I left the classroom with a big smile on my face. New York here I come!