Paint You the Way You Are

IS THIS A DATE?

FELIX

Hyunjin exuded effortlessness and sensual elegance. His short black hair shone like a raven's feather, accentuating his pale skin, which seemed almost transparent. His eyes were fierce, their brown color shining in all directions and seeming almost amber in the setting sun.

It took me a while to realize what I was looking at. It was clear as day that his beauty didn't stop at his face, but I was so preoccupied at that moment that there was no time, and really no reason, to take my eyes off his face just to look at the rest of him. I was so enchanted at that moment that I couldn't perceive clearly or think in any way.

This was my first impression when I first saw Hyunjin. Stunned, I stared straight ahead, thinking that I had dreamt of him once again. About our first meeting.

Night was just beginning to turn into morning. My head was pounding, just like it should after yesterday. I can't remember the last time I drank that much alcohol in one sitting. In fact, I'm pretty surprised I didn't throw up last night. At least I hope so. My memories of last night are fuzzy.

I sit on the bed and lean against the headboard. My head is pounding, but I can't give it the slightest thought when it's still my heart that warms my chest.

Since I opened my eyes, I haven't given the slightest thought to anything other than the feeling he evokes in me. It sounds ridiculous, maybe even impossible, but I feel like I've known Hyunjin forever. Even though I know so little about him. Almost nothing.

When I realize it's the fourth night, I've dreamt about him, I feel terrified. I'm so open with my feelings for him that it's only now that I realize how dangerous it is to love someone again. I feel like it could actually kill me if something bad happens.

Suddenly my mood changes. I feel myself go limp and my thoughts stop completely in my head.

It takes me a while to force myself to think again. The fear that he might hurt me, paralyzed me so much that I thought he had actually hurt me.

To escape my thoughts, I put headphones in my ears and quietly put on my favorite playlist. I close my eyes and allow myself to be lulled to sleep.

When I wake up for the second time today my head doesn't hurt anymore. But I feel very hungry. My headphones went out while I was sleeping, so I put them back in the box and go downstairs to get something to eat.

As I'm coming down the stairs, I shoot my eyes around the living room. In surprise I almost slip on the stairs.

Hyunjin is standing in the middle of the room, talking to my uncle about something.

When they both look up and register my presence, the conversation dies down. Hyunjin takes a step closer and smiles at me. Uncle just nods his head in greeting and walks away, leaving the two of us alone.

'What did you two discuss?' I ask.

'It's good to see you too.' He speaks.

'Sorry, of course it's good to see you.' And that wasn't a lie, I was delighted to see him, I was thrilled like a kid waiting to open his presents under the tree.

'You look like you just woke up.'

'Yeah, I did.' I get it out of me. When he measures me with his gaze again, a cold sweat pours down my face. I breathe heavily and blink a few times to stop my head spinning. It doesn't help much.