Paint You the Way You Are

PERFUME

HYUNJIN

'Hi,' I greet Jisung as I join him in the café.

'Hey, you okay now?' I wonder at his question. The truth is I'm not fine at all. And it's all because of Felix. It hurts to see him down, I don't know how to help him, I try, but he looks so down I just don't know how to do it.

'It's better. Even though I feel like I hurt Felix, more than I needed to. He came back from Japan after that horrible incident and the first thing he sees is me kissing someone else. I can't stop thinking about it. Also, the fact that I avoided him for few days. If you had seen him. It just sucks.' I put my head in my hands.

'Well, I still don't know what happened between you two. If you want me to give you advice, it would be best if you told me what actually happened first.' He sounds quite curious. I don't blame him. Everything that happened that week was one big drama.

'I don't know if I can tell you, it's his life, but let's just say someone used him, set him up. And I thought he did it on his own, not because someone forced him, but because he wanted to. I feel like a fool.'

'But do you have any proof that he didn't do it on purpose?' I paused at that.

'No, I don't. And I don't need it, I trust him. After what he said to me that night, everything fell into place. I don't think he lied to me.'

'That's so strange. You trust Felix with everything, but when I tell you something it takes you months to believe me.'

'Yeah, it is because you lie so much.'

'What? When? I don't lie.' I look at him for a moment. He's probably right. I don't remember him ever lying to me.

'Okay I guess I just want to trust Felix. It's true that he could be making it up, but I just know it's true. Everything he's been through, all the things that he experienced. Everything tells me that I shouldn't doubt the authenticity of his words.'

'I see, otherwise how exactly is it with you guys? You said not very good? What exactly is going on?' His question reminds me too much of a therapy session.

'Hey, you can just tell, he's so distant. He was fine that night, but then he started pulling away from me. I'm thinking about all the things I could have done wrong, but this is the only thing I can think of.'

'Dude, I envy you.'

'You envy me? Why?' I raise my eyebrows; I can't imagine why he'd be jealous when I just told him things are going downhill with me and Felix.

'Your relationship with him. Minho and I haven't even held hands yet. He's actually been avoiding me a lot lately. And when I mean avoiding, I mean sitting in the dance studio, walking towards me, and then turning and walking away when he sees me. I haven't spoken to him in, like, two weeks.'

'And you don't think something's wrong? It sounds like you did something.' I think about the last time I saw Minho and Han together and remember the party after the first dance class when he carried him home on his back, like I did with Felix.

'I just don't know what could have happened, he doesn't want to talk to me. At all.' I stare at him as he runs his hand through his hair in frustration. I still can't believe how little time has passed since we last sat here together and how much has happened.

'We're fucked,' I say, laying my head on the table.

Han just grunts in agreement.

It's quiet for a while when suddenly I hear a knock. I look up to see Han leaning over the table.