it's been a month and dad is finally used to lez/lesley and actually likes him/her. kenneth who used to visit with a friend gavin has just opened a hair dresser in the lobbey and liam is working there as well as the hotel cleaner/maintenance and we get on really well, I actually like him and roxy is loving this she keeps saying we should date when she's with us both and I blush but he smiles. what if he does like me and want to date most boys would blush too and get embarrassed but he doesn't.
I go to the skatepark no one is due to arrive for another 2 hours but I wanted to pratice on the ramps. this morning has been so horrible, the posh tots at school have found my twiter and won't stop tweeting me crap so now I got it at school and now on twitter please don't let them find my instagram. I make my instagram private cause i don't want them finding it and to top it all they started making new accounts to tweet me cause I blocked them and they are being 20x worse with what they say than they do in school. dad is in a massive mood with me he found out how much I spent at the new stall in the market last night and he went mental and haven't spoken to me since, when I was putting my wristbands on to cover the scars I was close to giving in but I noticed my chain, the last white link was over 40 days ago I quickly put the first bunch of wristbands I pick up and I leave and go to the skatepark.
"hey beautiful" I stop and I seen mickey standing there
"please don't start with the fliting I'm not in the mood"
"sorry I'm only saying the truth"
"no your flirting"
"I'm not, I never flirt with you I'm all truth with you" I sit on the ramp, is he serious he doesn't really like me I mean come on who can like me I live with my dad in a hotel and I'm not into what typical girls are around here and I'm depressed nearly 80% of everyday.
"what are you on about?"
"I flirt with girls but I don't like them, I like you"
"no you don't"
"I do and not as a friend I like you more than that" I turned so I was actually facing him
"just because I said I'm not in the mood which means im on a downer please don't make up crap to help me feel better"
"I'm not, I've wanted to tell you ages ago but I couldn't, I was scared"
"you scared, that's a lie"
"I was riri, I was scared of you not liking me and then not wanting to be friends again" I don't answer him but I feel a tear roll down my check
"I didn't mean to make you cry" he says really concerned, wow he really does like me I wipe my eyes
"it's not all you I had a falling out with my dad and he haven't spoken to me since yesterday evening and then posh tots found my twitter and made new accounts every time I blocked them and then you just said this and it's too much"
"I'm sorry I should've kept quiet, you didn't give up did you?"
"no I was close to this morning but I managed to not do it, only just about through so that's why I came here"
"you don't need to cut to feel better"
"it helps through"
"you've been 40 days without giving in, you can do another 40 and another" I stand up
"thanks mickey, I gotta go to met roxy now so I'll see you later" he stands up and gives me a hug, this hug felt different it was comforting and I actually liked it. I get to roxy's and we go to her room,
"what's up?"
"nothing"
"there is I can tell you've been crying" I looked in the mirror dammit, I swear I used the waterproof mascara
"everything"
"tell me, please"
"I fell out with dad last night, it wasn't the typical argument it was a big one and he haven't spoken to me since exactly half 6 last night and then this morning I wake up to find the posh tots have found my twitter and I had a load of tweets off them 20x worse than what they say to my face. I blocked them and then they made new accounts and they done it again when I blocked their new accounts. I went to the skatepark to distract myself and mickey turned up and told me he likes me more than a friend"
roxy pulls me into a hug "omg, you had it all. come on let's go to the soda hut and get them massive slushie drinks"
"ok but first have you got spare mascara?"
"sure the one with the purple writing is new so you can use that one"
"thanks" I put some mascara on and we head to the soda bar then go to meet everyone at the skatepark. at about 5pm I head back home, dad was at the reception desk and whilst I walked in he looked and seen it was me then he turned around so he couldn't see me. when I get in I go straight to my room and I put the cosby show on and go on the laptop. about an hour and a half later I was getting a drink and dad came in to get changed before heading to Neptune's, he didn't even look at me he went to the fridge and got a can and then went to get changed I done the washing up and when I came out the kitchen dad came out of his room and went to get his phone from the living room
"dad" he ignored me "please don't ignore me I hate it when we fall out" he just walked out and slammed the door, I went back to my room and I turned the tv off and put my music on. an hour later I heard knocking on the door so I went to amswer it.
"you coming down to neptunes?"
"no I wanna stay in tonight"
"you did that last night, come on donald Stewart has signed up for the karaoke"
"no thank you"
"what's wrong I haven't seen you all day and you never miss out on seeing donald up on stage, whenever I asked mateo where you was he just said out. he never says that he always says exactly where you are"
"that's cause he didn't know where I was"
"why?"
"he haven't spoken to me since half 6 yesterday" I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and janey notices and pulls me into a hug
"what have you fallen out over?"
"he found out how much I spent at the new stall at the indoor market and he flipped out"
"how much did you spend?"
"just under €100, he haven't been this mad since I was 7 when I painted my walls. the longest he goes without talking to me is just under 2 hours but it's been over 24hours"
"come on, I'll sort it out"
"no I want to stay in, I'll just wait for him to come around" janey nods and then leaves, I go back to my room and I see more tweets off the posh tots
'can't wait until back to school, take your pick of what eye you want to be blue first' zara wrote
'hopefully the beatings will kill you #excited' milly wrote
'just hurry up and die will you, but don't kill yourself cause I want to kill you' Danielle wrote, I didn't read the rest I couldn't. I went to my pencil case on the desk and I got the sharpner then took it apart, I seen the chain hoping it will stop this temptation but it didn't I ripped it down and then I had a new tweet come through
'little gothic emo, get ready for school and make sure you say your final goodbyes to people cause I can't wait to win by killing you so don't make me lose by killing yourself' Danielle wrote.
"you're gonna lose" I said to the screen and I gave into temptation, after a hour I still couldn't stop I looked down and seen my jeans were covered in blood and my wrist was all red but still I couldn't stop and then everything went black.
