❤️Jarley oneshots🖤

Cha Cha Real Smooth

Harley jolted awake when she felt the warm blankets being torn off her as a cold hand came in contact with her thigh. She rubbed her eyes until the blob of green became clearer and cursed under her breath.

"Morning, duchess." Joker greeted followed by a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"Damnit, don't wake me up like that. I thought Antarctica was runnin' up on me!" Harley whined, pulling the sheets back over her.

J smiled and nudged her again, earning him an irritated groan. "Come on, baby. Get up and go make Daddy some toast."

"You got two functionin' arms and legs don't ya? Do it yourself." Harley grunted.

"But you make it with extra love!" J said, reaching for her arm. The blondie tried to squiggle away from him but she soon realized it was no use when he ripped the sheets right off her once again, this time tossing them to the other side of the room.

"Alright!" She yelled in defeat. "I'm up!"

"There's my little ray of sunshine!" Joker said with a signature giggle.

"Yeah, yeah.." Harley pushed past him as she made her way into the kitchen and prepared him his breakfast. "Come get it, Puddin'!" She called out, stretching and yawning dramatically.

"Gosh, doesn't it feel like we're married?" Harley twirled around a strand of hair in finger and smiled when J came hobbling down the stairs with his trench coat and a pistol in hand.

"Oh, absolutely." Joker strolled his way over to Harley and wrapped his arms around her waist, biting at her earlobe. "Except the wife usually knows how to not burn everything she cooks."

Harley's smile fell at his sly remark while Joker sat himself at the table laughing and stuffing his face with toast. "Sometimes I really do consider smacking you with a sizzling frying pan every morning." She said, placing a hot cup of coffee in front of him before sitting down on the opposite side.

"What happened to your jacket?" Harley pointed at a rip in the shoulder of Joker's coat. His eyebrows knit together as he poked a finger through the rip. "Something must've happened during a run-in. You know how it gets." He said with a shrug.

"I can fix it for ya." Harley suggested with a wide smile. "It'll only take a second! I'll go sew it up and you can finish your breakfast." Before J could finish, Harley was already up out of her seat and pulling his coat off. "Harley! I-" Joker cursed under his breath as the blonde ran into their room giggling like a child.

Almost an hour had gone by now. J was getting impatient and so were his buddies. Finally, the distant sound of music caught his attention. "What the hell is she doing in there?" He muttered to himself as he made his way over to their room. The door was closed and he could hear Harley giggling and singing along to the song.

"One hop this time! Right foot lets go! Left foot lets go!"

Joker's mouth hung open as he pushed open the door, only to find Harley standing in front of the mirror dancing around in his very oversized jacket.

Never in his life had he ever witnessed someone dance so vigorously...

To Cha Cha Slide.

"Slide to the left!" She called out as she slid across the carpet.

"Slide to the right!" She slid again, this time knocking over a lamp.

"Am I interrupting something?" J cleared his throat, causing Harley to jump as she turned to face him. She quickly turned off the music and smiled innocently.

"I uh.. I didn't see ya there, Pud." Harley bit her lip, trying desperately to hold in her laughter. Joker rolled his eyes and held his hand out. "Cute. Real cute Harls, but I gotta go. Give me my coat."

"But.."

Joker narrowed his eyes at her mischievous smile and slammed his hands over his ears as Harley ran over to her speaker and blasted the music as loud as she could, shouting along to the music.

"HANDS ON YA KNEES! HANDS ON YA KNEES!"

Before Joker could say another word, Harley had bent over and started to make her way over to him with her bubble butt sticking up in the air. At this point, J had no choice but to let this lunatic get it out of her system.

The music had stopped at this point and Joker finally let a laugh escape his lips when Harley had him pinned against the wall, dancing on him like a stripper who's rent was due the next day. She was laughing too, so much that she had lost her balance. In an attempt to prevent herself from falling, Harley had latched onto his tie and ended up pulling him down with her.

They fell to the floor with a loud thud causing the clown queen to yelp as Joker slammed into of her, pinning her underneath him. Just as Mister J was about to push himself off of her, Harley made the mistake of opening up her mouth.

"Holy shit you weigh a ton!" She panted, trying to squiggle out from under Joker.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you. Gravity is just... taking a toll on me man.."

"Wha?! Pud- GET OFF!" Harley yelled as J collapsed on top of her, going completely stiff.

"I'm just a.. fat cow Harls.. I don't think I'll be going anywhere at this rate!" He smirked as Harley kicked and squirmed. Their play fighting was cut short when Joker's cellphone rang out, causing him to shoot up and yank his phone out of his pocket.

The clown couple flinched when they heard an angry Harvey Dent along with Cobblepot shout through the phone at Joker. He had completely lost track of time and forgot about the heist they had planned.

Harley's eyes clouded with sadness at the thought of her Puddin' having to leave her. Especially since he was in such a good mood. It was rare and she knew that if something went wrong today, he was bound to come home looking for someone to take his anger out on.

She sighed and took off his coat, placing it in his lap as she slid out from under him. Joker glanced at her and gave her a playful wink before standing up and walking right out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"And just like that, he's gone." Harley grunted. She pushed herself up and made her way over to the door until Joker stormed right in with a wide smile on his face.

"Don'tcha have somewhere to be Mistah J?" Harley crossed her arms and tilted her head. J sucked his teeth and scooped his princess up in his arms before she could say another word.

"I believe we were in the middle of something, Harls. You heard the man! Hands on your knees!"

AN//: I'm back and I'm here to stay babies! I've been doing a lot better and I'm gonna do my best to keep it that way. I'm currently staying in a not so nice hotel in Missouri because I'm sure you all know, Florida was hit and is currently still getting hit with hurricane Irma. Where I live was getting the eye of the storm and it is just me and my mom along with our two dogs so we booked it as far away as we could.
We're fine, and thank the Lord that we didn't get hit as hard as expected! So here's a nice lil one shot for you guys! Not really sure what the heck was going through my mind when I wrote this?? But it made me laugh and I hope it makes you laugh too!
Thank you for all the lovely messages you left me. There wasn't a day that I didn't think about your encouraging words and I love you all very much. Thank you again
-J