Of Lions, Wolves, and Dragons (Jon Snow)

51. The First Time

Joellyn didn't know how long she was going to have to wait for Jon to come to her.  He had so many things that he was having to bring together before the battle tomorrow, it was likely that he would be late and have very little time for her.  She understood that he had more important things going on, so she tried not to obsess about when he would arrive, thought she did not have much that would be able to distract her while she was waiting for him.

She paced back and forth across her tent as she thought about how everything had changed in just the past day.  That morning, she had no knowledge of if Dorne was coming to their aid or not, and none of them knew where Tyrion or Robb were.  Doran had sent them so much more than just 500 men, though she would be forever grateful for those men that were willing to come fight for a woman they didn't even know.  Doran had sent all of them hope.

Yes, it had been devestating to find out that Tommen and Margarey were gone.  But after everything she had been through so far and to be now sitting on the eve of a battle, Joellyn felt empty.  Rather than it hurting deeply, like losing Oberyn and Myrcella had done, it just added to the dull ache she felt inside of her when she thought of all the people that she had lost now.   That list, until today, had included Tyrion and Robb.

There seemed to be a sense of hope that passed over the group when she shared the news about Robb.  She imagined that it gave them an extra sense of something to fight for.  She was personally more glad to know that Tyrion was alive and well in the world, but she felt a sense a peace at knowing that her actions had helped to save Robb's life.  The battle against Ramsay Bolton was looming overhead, but Joellyn found herself looking past it, looking forward to the day where she would meet with Tyrion again and find out about all that he had done in their time apart.   Surely if he was with Daenerys Targaryen that he would have an interesting story to tell her.

She also found herself wondering what would become of her and Jon.  She couldn't think about the possibility of losing him tomorrow.  Joellyn had to continue telling herself that Jon would make it through tomorrow, that their battle would be successful, and that they would be safely inside of Winterfell at this time tomorrow, but what would happen then?  She couldn't go back to Kings Landing or her family ever, but what would the rest of the people of the North think about a former Lannister staying in Winterfell?  And she couldn't help but wonder if it would even be deemed appropriate for her to join Jon and Sansa in Winterfell.  Then again, she was getting ahead of herself, because they still had to beat Ramsay tomorrow in battle.

As she continued pacing in her tent, she felt anxious again.  All of these things passing through her mind made her uncomfortable and she began to worry, even though she knew worry would change nothing about tomorrow's outcome.  She was saved from further worrying, though, as she heard Jon's voice from outside her tent ask, "Joellyn?"

She sighed with relief as she stopped pacing and replied, "You can come in."

Jon walked through the entrance to her tent and looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.  Yet he wasted no time in walking over to her and embraceing her, holding onto her as if he never wanted to let her go.  She returned his embrace and cherished the feeling of being held by him, but was concerned about him all at the same time.

As he let go, Joellyn took one of his hands in her own and led him over to her small cot where they could take a seat as she asked him, "How are you doing?"

Jon rubbed his face with his free hand and shook his head before saying, "Sansa is angry with me.  She thinks we need more men, and she's right.  But she wants us to wait, and we can't do that."

Joellyn nodded and squeezed his hand softly before she said, "I know, Davos knows, and Tormund knows.  Even Sansa really knows that, but she's got so much more on the line tomorrow than the rest of us do."