walsh ❈ carl grimes gay

twenty-four.

"Do you wanna hold him?"

He shakes his head, turning the other way.

"Come on, Carl, he's your son."

"I don't wanna hold him."
He says.
"I just don't want to."

"Okay."
I nod.
"Will you please hand me a tissue, I'm about to feed him."

"Bottles are easier."

"Miss Alexa recommended breastfeeding."
I rasp.
"It feels more personal anyways."

"Probably because he's sucking on your tit."
The boy rolls his eyes.

"Tissue, please."

Handing me one, he huffs and stands by the window, looking out and staying quiet and his eye bounces over all the citizens.

Carl had been a little distant before the birth, but it only got worse after Fletch was born. He hasn't even held him once, nor has he attempted to stay with me for a couple of nights to help me out.

Instead, he's been hanging out with his friends and doing whatever he does. Jinx, Mr. Negan, Queen, and Fitz have been a gigantic help as well as Fitz, Daddy, and Carter.

I'm mostly sleeping through the days with Fletcher, but I do get to see the men occasionally. I am not sure when I will be able to actually get out of bed and help out the community, but Miss Alexa and Kenna say that the only thing that's important is being with Fletch, so I'm more than happy.

I let out a small sigh, the whole breastfeeding thing was a bit difficult for me to grasp, so I hadn't gotten used to it yet. I wasn't struggling per say, but... no, I was struggling.

"Just stop it."
Carl huffs.
"There's formula for a reason."

"I don't want to do formula, Carl, I've told you that."

"Quit huffing and puffing then."
He rolls his eye.
"If you can't figure it out, then that's on you. I've told you multiple times to stop, and you won't."

"It's not that easy."

He stays quiet, continuing to look out of the window for a while before Fletcher finishes up and I situate myself on the bed.

"I have to pee, can you please hold him?"

"He's capable of sitting by himself."

"He's one week old."

"Wrap him in a blanket and put him on the pillows."

"He's not a disease, Carl."
I sniffle.
"You won't get rabies or something from holding him for like... one minute."

"Sage, I don't wanna hold him."
He speaks.
"Leave me alone."

Frustrated, I take myself to the bathroom down the hall, gently set Fletch on the counter carefully, and do what I needed to do before washing my hands and taking him back into my arms.