Just My Friend (COMPLETE)

Sunday

~Staceys POV~

I raced around my house getting ready for church. I slipped into one of my favorite dresses, it was black and complemented me nicely. I grabbed my black, open toe high heels and slipped them onto my small feet. And then moved on to mess with my hair and put on some light makeup.
Once I had finished, I started to look for my Bible. Sad to say I wasn't sure where it was. I hadn't had it since the last time I went to church, which was about two weeks ago.
I finely found it in the back seat of my car where I had stuck it at the end of service two weeks ago.
I went back in side to get my purse and other Essentials I may need while I'm out. After which I locked the door behind me and got into the car.
I put the key in the ignition and turned it starting the car. Immediately the radio came on playing "Come To Me" by the Goo Goo dolls. Making me sigh at how silly my feelings are for Devin.
"Ugh." I sighed to myself placing my head down on the steering wheel in frustration.
"Why do I have to feel like this!?" I questioned God. "Its stupid. We are just friends and that's all we'll ever be." I said raising my voice.
The song switched to the next one. And ironically it was "Cry With You" by Hunter Hayes. I laughed as it seemed that it was God telling me everything in that song.
"I just hate this so much, God! This is tearing me up inside... I love him so much and all I want is to be with him. But he'll only ever see me as his friend." I said as tears flooded my eyes. It's a good thing I'm wearing water proof mascara.
I continued to lay my head on my steering wheel as tears fell from my brown eyes.
"Why can't he see what I see?" I asked as I looked up from the wheel staring into the sky. No response. But what did I expect I thought to myself. I wish he would just step out of the clouds and wrap me in his arms.
Ever since my parents died I've been less and less in touch with God though. I don't blame him. I know that his ways are best, but I can't pretend to say I'm okay with all of them.
I finely pulled out of the driveway and headed to church. By this time I was running late. I mentally hit myself for being to emotional.
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I glanced around the large building looking for Erica and Devin. I spotted Erica, which wasn't to hard. She had her wavy black hair down, she wore a colorful dress that set off her beautiful green eyes and some flats.
I waved and rushed over to give her a hug. Her husband Caleb came over and pulled me in for a hug as well.

"It's great to see you here this morning." He said and Erica chimed in.
"Oh yes!" She said with a grin as wide as the Texas sky on her face.
"Well I wish I could get away more often." I lied. I hated myself for feeling like that, but the truth is I don't really want to be here.
"Where's Harley?" I asked
"Well in her class of course." Erica laughed and I smiled sheepishly at my stupidity
"Are you having a rough morning?" She asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
"It's nothing I can't handle." I said hoping they'd leave it at that.
"Okay. If that's all you want to say then I'll live with it." She said. And I sat down beside her and Caleb on the church pew. Suddenly I felt a hand rested on my shoulder. I turned to see Devin looking down at me with a smile.
"Hi." He said
"Well hello you." I said smiling from the instant I saw him.
"May I have the seat next to you, my friend?" He asked and I gestured for him to sit. It's nothing new, he's sat next to me several times. But I can't help but feel warm inside at the idea.

He sat down and stretched his arm across the top part of the back of the pew. His hand rested on my shoulder. And it felt so right.
The service started and I just couldn't focus on any of it. All that was going through my head was my conversation with God in the car this morning, and how I've felt about church. Why can't Devin see that there is more between us then just friendship? I mentally asked myself.
I looked over to him as he intently looked at the bible in his lap, his eyes scanning over it at rapid paces as the preacher read a scripture. His eyes then quickly flicked up at me, catching me staring at him. I smiled sheepishly and he gave a smile back before turning his attention back to the his Bible. I continued to look at him, taking note to every curve in his face.
"Why must I torture myself?" I asked God mentally. And turned my attention to the pastor, who was talking about how God is with us through it all. But my focus wasn't great and my mind started to drift again.
My attention was suddenly awakened as I heard this phase said "God knows." My heart started to race for a second. As I listened to the rest.

"He sees what's been going on. Don't doubt that. He knows your hurting, he knows why, and he knows how to make it better. And he will, in his time, not ours. Your job is to press on, to hold on through the pain. Don't let go. Just hold on, knowing that God is with you, and that He's got it." The pastor said.
And tears filled my eyes. I sniffed slightly and Devin looked over to me. He rapped his arms around me pulling me into him and letting me cry some more on his shoulder.
The insane thing is he is part of the reason I'm crying and he doesn't even know.
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"Are you okay?" Devin asked as we walked out of the church headed to the cars.
"Yeah. I think I'll be fine." I said telling him and myself.

"Aunt Stacey!!" I heard a small voice yell. And I turned to see a little black haired girl running towards me.