Just My Friend (COMPLETE)

I'm Not Going Anywhere

~Staceys POV~

It had been two weeks since I had seen that guy and things have calmed down. Bryan had visited a few times but had gone back home for now. Devin has been staying with me the last two weeks straight, but I think he'll be going home soon. Although I have really enjoyed the company, it's been so long that I've been living all alone in that house. Having someone else there has been so very nice.

At the moment I was out to lunch with Erica, which is nice. We don't get to spend all that much time with each other outside of work, mostly because of how busy she is. And that's understandable, she has a husband and 4 year old daughter. I imagine she is crazy busy.
I watched as she waved her hands around in the air while she was explaining something. I wasn't really listening to her, I am just way to lost in thought at the moment. I guess she noticed that I wasn't paying attention because she cleared her throat loudly.
"Wha?" I asked, my attention suddenly drawn to her.
"What's on your mind?" She asked seeming rather interested.
"Too much." I said with a small smile.
"Well go on then. Tell me what's up." She said leaning back into the booth we were sitting in.
"Umm. I don't know." I said unsure where to start.
"You don't know what you're thinking about?" She asked with a laugh.
"Well I just don't know how to express it." I told her and she looked at me sympathetically.
"I have really loved the last two weeks, but I'm thinking it's coming to a close." I said unsure what else to add.
"Okay, what is it about the last two weeks that you've enjoyed so much?" She asked trying to understand it.
"Well, I've had someone at the house with me all the time so I haven't felt so lonely, and Bryan has been stopping by to check on me. But I'm thinking that since everything has seemed to calm down that he won't be stopping by anymore, and I'm thinking Devin will be going back to his house soon." I said. Great now I sound like a clingy, pathetic girl. Ugh, I hate myself! What is she gonna think of me now?
"I see." She said giving a nod.
"So you're upset because you feel like people are leaving you behind again." She added.
"What?" I said in confusion. What does she mean *leaving me behind, again.*? I don't think anyone is leaving me behind, I just think I'm going to be alone once again.
"Well your younger sister left for heaven, then both of your parents went too, and then your brother left you to live his own life once he thought you were capable without him." She said shrugging her shoulders.
"But my parents and little sister died. It wasn't their fault, I'm not a child, I know that it wasn't there choice." Said beginning to be a little defensive.
"Calm down, I'm not trying to say anything mean. But it seems you view that people tend to leave and abandon you. You see yourself all alone, even though you still have friends and family." She said holding her hands up in surrender.
"Just because I feel lonely, doesn't mean that I feel abandoned." I insisted and she frowned.
"How do you feel about Bryan getting married?" She asked and I felt confused, what does that have to do with what we're talking about?
"I'm happy for him. He'll be a great husband, I'm glad he is starting his life with Vanessa." I said plain and flat.
"I'm sure he'll be a good husband aswell." She said briefly with a smile before continuing.
"So he is starting his life with Vanessa? Starting would make it a new beginning right? So he is leaving behind his old life with you and your family." She said seeming to be asking not stating.
"I didn't say that. I mean yes he is starting new, but I'll be a part of that. I'm his sister.... I-i am his family." I said starting to see that I did feel like he was abandoning me.
"Yes you are." She said patting my hand that was rested on the table.

"I guess I do feel that way... He is starting a new family, now that ours doesn't really exist anymore... And he is doing it miles away, we won't ever be the same big bubba and little sis anymore." I said, tears coming to my eyes.
"Nothing will ever be the same as it was yesterday, but everything will be okay. And you will always be his little sister, you just aren't kids anymore and your lives are moving on." She said trying to reassure me. But unfortunately I didn't get that from what she said.
"He is moving on with his life, but I'm not going anywhere with mine." I said hating myself.
"I'm working at a clothing store scraping by, I live in my old house alone, I don't have a boyfriend, and the only guy I've ever liked doesn't get it.. I was supposed to start College, but I haven't applied because I'm just not sure what to take and if I can even handle it." I said trying to stop crying. I mean we are in a restaurant and I feel so stupid crying in public.
" Your life is going somewhere, God has a plan for your life and he'll work it all out in the perfect timing. So what if you're not dating? It just clears your time for collage and studies." She said and I tried to believe her, but I just couldn't get the feeling that my life is just worthless and stupid right now.
"Really think so?" I asked and she nodded.
"So what guy doesn't get it?" She asked with a smirk.
"Oh boy." I said with a laugh.
"Is it Devin? I've seen something going on between you two since you started working with me." She said laughing.

"Really?" I asked.
"Yup. You two have so much together that neither one of you realize. I think you two are really meant to be together as part of God's plan." She said and I grinned wildly.
"I'd love that to be true.. But he doesn't seem to see it, and he deserves way better then me." I said frowning.

"Don't put yourself down like that. God made us all for his perfect plan, and if he wants you two together don't fight it. He couldn't do better then you, because he can't do better then God's plan." She said smiling.

"But how do I know that it's God's plan?" I asked thinking she was just being optimistic.
"You'll know for sure one day. For now just pray that God would make you into the woman you need to be, and that he would show Devin what he has in store for his life." She said and I felt peace some how.
"Thank you." I said smiling
"You are very welcome girl." She said giving me a smile before taking another sip of her drink.