MY different world

Alexa

I knew coking go this party was not gonna go well,but hearing my husband to be saying that I'm a burden because I got stupid enough to get pregnant and heat I should have been checking my health more maybe I wouldn't be blind now hurt me,it really cut me deep" Alexa crying about it won't help baby,youve been crying ever since Tori brought you here,tell your mama what happened" my mom doesn't stop asking me questions, I came here for a peace of mimd.

I been laying down ever since, well yes crying because I'm hurt and it's not like I have anything better to do with my blind self " mommy I'll be fine,please call Connel and ask how my kids are" I asked still crying in bed with my head on my pillow"alright,i made something to eat,Tori told me you left without eating, I'll bring the food up here and help you -" " I'm not hungry- can I be left alone?" I asked waiting for an answer I heard her sigh so she's really down now I know " just know that I love you child, I'll come check once you in a minute " I nodded

My mom made me eat by force,with me being pregnant I really didn't have a choice, im about to have three kids with a man who thinks low of me, but I'm stupid enough to still be in love with him, it's sad really. I may be blind but I know somebody is in this room" who's here?" I asked cause if it was my mom I would know

I felt my bed deep in" uhm hey lex, it's Brandi "

" hey B- what's up? If you're here to expla-"

" no I'm actually here to apologise on his behalf, he found out something today and he was not taking it very well, I was also annoying him to an extent where he just said stuff - for that I'm sorry because I know he didn't mean what he said" in my heart I know he didn't mean it but heck it still hurts

" he was mad so that why he said it, but that's how he really feels, im not ready to just forgive and forget because he really hurt me,he always says stuff to me knowing very well that it's gon hurt me" I stressed out

" but Alexa be real,this is too much for him too,his not really having support from anyone on your side of the family, with the kids,eith you its really stressing him out, knowing my brother he won't say nothing because he loves you -"

" that don't mean he must act the way his acting, I can't see for goodness sake - I'm pregnant, I need to be taken care of,he offered to look after me even after my mother suggested she take care of me, but now he says I'm a burd-"

" that's not what he said Alexa you're twisting his words -uhm rather him explain himself,his here too should I go get him or you're not ready to talk to him?" maybe having a talk with him won't hurt

" its okay - I need to know what he meant and also what got him so messed up because he was just find when we got to the venue" I said, she said okay and I guess went to get him, I can't mumbke nothing to my self who knows maybe his been here all along but no his smell would have caught my attention like it's doing now" Hakeem?" I questioned sitting up right

" how did you know it was me?" I rolled my eyes

" only your smell can kill my nose " I said being serious and he chuckled, but I didn't find that funny " why are you here?" I got to the point

" you know I sometimes feel like you deserve better than being stuck with someone like me " he kept quiet for a minute then his smell came in strong so his now closer to me, the bed dipped in and I can feel his back next to me so his very close" I'm hurt you way too many times,no women should cry as much as you do for a man like me,i haven't been much of a man with me making you cry like you do"

I let him continue

" but best believe I don't mean to hurt you and make you cry,i try everything out of my comfort zone to make you smile but it ends up going wrong all the time to a point where I curse at you, say things I don't mean just so that you feel that I'm around, and that I ain't going no where,i realise it's wrong, and for that baby I'm sorry

What I said wasn't meant to come out that way, I meant that it's hard making sure you're good, and relaxed seeing that you can't do nothing on your own,being pregnant at that and still being worried about the kids I know it's hard for you but there's nothing that I'm doing to help you not worry -"

" but you do help around,what really hurt me is that, you said I'm a burden to you because I was stupid enough to not care about my health " I said on the verge of tears,i heard him sigh

" what I meant was I should have been your man to let you know, you don't have to step back from taking care of yourself because, you wanna pay for your own medical bill,buy things around here,pay the school fees, work over time to do all that while I'm at home trying to help but you won't let me " I frowned

" I didn't know that's really making you feel less if a man,i just don't want to put all my bills on you because I can't pay for them" I stressed out

" wer're partners, im suppose to be helping you out but you won't let me- I only came here to apologise, I hope we gon resolve our issues before we get married and the baby gets here,thst cool?" I nodded, I felt him kiss my cheek," I love you, now get that sleep before your mama curse me out

I chuckled " I love you too " I said going back to laying down maybe now he means it when he says we need to work on us more,damn I forgot to ask what bothered him, I'll ask him the next time he comes here.