Got To Be Good-looking ('cause he's so hard to see)

~10~

John/Cappy

Stalker alert. She is pretty pedantic too, all the way to Glasgow and I thought I pissed her off enough.

I must be slipping.

She was in a big hurry and I watched as she once again streaked off, this time out a side door. I kept going through the terminal following the pack of sheep, took a right and wandered to the Fast Eddy's Hire Car Office.

The office was more a tiny tin shed, my closet would be bigger. Bright yellow paint cover the walls with a picture of who, I presumed, was fast Eddy on the sign.

The bell jangled as I entered the shed come office, this should be a quick transaction as Linda, bless her bobby socks, tee'd up a reservation.

I smiled, there she is, the witch with the axe. Throwing her hands around reminiscent of the time at check-in in LA, all upset and fast talking, ahhh memories.

I walked up to the counter, also bright yellow not sunshine yellow more blah yellow and the clerk moved away from guitar girl and addressed me.

"Hey I'm talking here! Laddy" She steamed, adjusting her sunnies down, pursing her cupids, ogling me, no it's more glare, yep definitely glaring at me with the knife welding eyes.

"Miss as I mentioned. Yes, I do have two cars in the lot but those two cars are both reserved" The clerk grinned at me and she gave up, flopping in a chair watching my uninteresting bag and interesting Martin case, then glancing up and rolling her eyes, she was tired and I felt a small pang of pity, then forgot about her misery and got on with signing the forms the clerk had ready.

Three dozen missives- I've bought houses quicker, signed away millions in seconds, but oh no, I have to sign my life away for a two door 'cow pat' brown coupe that looks to be around one hundred years young.

The door slammed, I guess she gave up.

"Licence, sir" Clerk requested another form of ID as I leaned on desk watching the girl slink out the door with all the poise of an elephant in the proverbial china shop, the door and the bell sounding off noisily, shattering the paper shuffling silence. "Sir"

"Yeah, right. Licence" Passing over my LA licence all ready to hit the roads towards Macca, his brood and the cottage Linda had sorted.

"It's expired"

"What? It's ok" I looked at the clerk looking back at me, geez give me the damn car already.

"No expired, see sir, expired in March, 1970" The clerk pushed the offending slip under my nose politely pointing out the expiration date.

"So....only by 3 years"

"No licence- no vehicle. Company policy" The clerk pointed over his shoulder at the half ripped piece of yellowing paper on the wall.

"You have to be fucking kidding, Look, see my name" I pressed a finger into the page "Recognise it?"

"So you're famous. You still don't have a licence, so no vehicle"

"I could get the press in and have a right field day over this, Fast Eddy's name would be mud"

"Well I suppose it would sir but wouldn't you look a bit dimwitted too?" The clerk had me there but I lent over the counter and felt the need to raise a fist, then thought better and decided to stare.

"Sir may I make a tiny suggestion?"

"What? What suggestion can you make that's going to solve this crap!?"

"That girl" The clerk pointed shakily out through the smeared, dirty window towards Guitar girl walking away toward the cab rank, guitar case slamming into her legs, she was annoyed and looked it.

"What about the cow?" Now I aren't usually this short tempered but come on, really, now I have to be pointed in her direction .... by a Fast Eddy employee?

"She. She wanted a rental too"

"Yeah hence her being a tad upset when you didn't have a vehicle for her. Soooo?"

"She's going to the same place"

"What, do you mean.... I'm going to the end of the bloody earth" I rubbed my eyes and scratched my chin I needed rid of this damn disguise, shitty itchy plastic hair beard.

"She. She is going to the end of the earth too. She's going to Campbelltown....."