Got To Be Good-looking ('cause he's so hard to see)

~40~

Paul and Linda

Paul's Night

Paul lay on the bed hours after John left, his mind a whirl.

What with John turning up, then Clare and now finding out that one doesn't know the other but they are having a 'relationship.'

Clare with a bearded 'strange weirdo' named Cappy- being John and John with a feisty girl nicknamed guitar girl- which is Clare and they are living feet apart to boot.

The one thing that he does know is that Linda had a hand in both of their accommodation, what the hell is she up to. Paul's brain hurt just trying to make any sort of head or tail out of the whole debacle.

Linda finally walked out of the bathroom after a wonderful relaxing steaming hot shower. Dressed for bed in warm pale pink pyjamas and soft fluffy bed socks.

She was beat, the kids, the animals and chores wearing her weary.

"Linda?" Paul beckoned her as she wandered to the dresser to find her hairbrush.

"No Paul I'm so tired, not tonight"

"What?!"

"I have a headache Paul. Just no, ok"

"I don't want to do that!"

"Why not!"

"Linda, you should be pleased, I said I don't want to do that"

"But you never not want to do that, did you really do something with Clare the other night!?" Linda was baiting him but Paul never noticed, she enjoyed leading him about on a merry chase. Beats vacuuming and other boring chores.

"NOooo !" Paul sat up in bed ready to defend his honour.

"I'm joking Paul. Clare would never want you"

"Why not! I've still got it"

"So, you do want Clare!" Linda flopped on the bed holding hands to her eyes, shaking her head slowly for effect "What's wrong with me Paul, don't I please you anymore?"

And the Oscar goes to

Linda McCartney

For How to Wind up your Husband and Other Seriously Cool Feats.

Written and Directed by

Linda McCartney!

"Course you do darling" Paul rubbed her back soothingly and she started getting turned on by the contact.

"Oh Paul, make love to me now" She launched and he ducked.

"I was trying to have a conversation!"

"What?"

"I said one word- Linda- and now there's all this" Paul referred to the last few minutes of banter, making Linda cackle.

"What do you want to talk about Paul. Then we muck around. Deal?"

"Deal!" Paul lay back on the bed trying to regather his thoughts and verbalise what John had told him that afternoon. "Ok so-"

"Hold on, I need a drink of water, I'll be back in a bit"

"Hurry up!"

"Yea, Yea. Don't get your knickers knotted" Linda retorted as she descended to the kitchen, arriving back in the room minutes later. "ok what do you want"

"Right, finally!.... Soooo, John's turned up, which you organised and Clare is visiting, which you organised. Do you see a pattern"?

"Well there's tartan on the doona but we are in Scotland"