Master Splinter Returns (#Wattys 2017)

I Am Very Ashamed Of My Son

My son, Dave Mildred Jonas, has done some very bad things lately and is still grounded for another month. Here is why:

1. He charged $15,000 on my credit card for Gewn Stefani T-shirts.

2. He told me I can "go to hell with my anti-gwen bull****"

3. I have found he has very inappropriate internet friends. Here are some of them:
CousinCringe
Rev3nge_Roses
INSECURITEAx

I am very ashamed of my son.