Master Splinter Returns (#Wattys 2017)

DRUG LECTURE (+date with Claire!!1!!!3!12!3!221!!!!)

Hi plz no hate. Today was my drug lecture date with Claire. Well let me just write out what happened

I go over to Claire's house to pick her up, and she wouldn't let me touch her, but anyways, we drive there on my scooter that I brought with from New York, Claire's beautiful purple hair blowing in the wind the whole ride.

We arrive and go inside, and find a spot to sit. While we're waiting for the lecture to start, I pulled out my bag of catnip, and ate some. Claire told me to put it away??!?!!??? I was just snacking!

But anyways, soon the lecture began and you'll never guess who it was!!1!2!1!!!2! My dad!1!1!1!1!!11

He didn't notice me at first, but then he spotted me, and had a weird look in his face, but kept lecturing.

Once it was over, he caught up to Claire and I, before we could leave.

He asked me what I was doing here, and I told him everything. Apparently mom never told him about all this!!!!1!1!1!1!1!!11!

Then he called mom and told her to shove a breadstick up her booty hole and that she should be expecting divorce papers soon.

Dad loaded up my scooter in his rental car, and him, Claire, and I left the place, and took Claire home. (She let me kiss her cheek!!!11!1!!1!1!1!)

Dad drove us back to his hotel, and he told me that he just does the drug lectures to get away from mom. He said he's gonna move to California, and I can live with him!!!!!1!1!!1!!1

Since I'll be 18 soon, (June 26th) before the divorce stuff happens, there won't be a custody battle between them so that's good.

My dad said I should start looking for a job, so I'm gonna start tomorrow.

Okay that's it for now plz no hate. Bye