letters to dan // dan smith

Chapter 25

The wheels of the wheel chair squeak as it's rolled into the room, where Dan is waiting. He chews the inside of his cheek - a nervous habit. When he sees Beth, accompanied by a nurse he stands up straight away, firing questions at the nurse.

"Is she okay? What's going on? Does she need to stay over night again or-"

The nurse interrupts him. "Please, sir, take a seat. The doctor will be in momentarily, he'll explain everything."

Dan shuffles his chair over to Beth, who looks terrified, and takes her hand, giving it a reasuring squeeze. She looks at him, giving him a watery smile, fighting the drowsiness from the wearing-off pain meds. She'd spent the night sleeping in the emergency ward, plugged into a drip that was pumping pain killers into her, while Dan sat out in the waiting room not sleeping a wink, which has resulted in dark circles under his eyes and a nasty taste in his mouth. When the doctor comes in the room, Dan's heart leaps, and even though his grip is tight on Beth's hand, he can feel her trembling.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Waters, we just want to run some tests to check what's going on with Bethany, just to make sure everything's alright." The doctor's voice is friendly, reassuring. Her long blonde hair is pulled back in a pony tail, and she smiles at them. The smile calms down Dan, who loosens his tight grip on Beth's hand. "If you could just pop up on the chair over there, we'll take some blood tests," at the mention of blood, Beth pales noticeably, "and take some samples down to the lab, and then we'll run some scans when you're feeling a bit better"

Beth tries to stand, but is still groggy from the medication, and her shaky legs fail her.

"On second thought, maybe you'd better stay there," she says gently, as a nurse comes over to Bethand takes her left hand - the one Dan isn't holding. She disinfects the inside of Beth's arm and pulls a syringe off the trolley. Beth bites her lip, looking away, at Dan. Dan tries to smile at her to distract her, knowing her fear of needles. Beth squeezes his hand tightly when the needle goes in, and then it's all over.

"Great, fantastic. We'll take them straight down to the lab. Now I get that you want to get out of here as soon as possible, so if you're feeling up to it, we could do the scan now?" Her tone is questioning. 

Beth nods, and Dan stands to help wheel her out of the room.

"I think it would be best if you stayed here," the doctor says gently.

"But-"

"Please. We'll be back before you know it."

Beth looks terrified, so Dan kneels down in front of her. "Don't worry, you'll be okay. I'm right here," he says softly, and she grabs his hand.

"Come with me, please Dan. I'm scared," her eyes are shining.

Dan glances at the nurse, and she gives almost an imperceptible shake of the head.

"I'm sorry, I'm not allowed. I'll be right here, in this room. I'm not going anywhere. Promise."

He hooks his pinkie around hers. "I love you, I'll see you soon."

As he stands he kisses Beth on the cheek, his stubble prickling her soft skin.

 When they leave, Dan wonders what he should do. Should he call Beth's parents? Call his own parents? No, I don't want them to worry for no reason, he thinks, because there is nothing wrong with Beth. Nothing wrong. Nothing is wrong. Everything will be okay. But what if it's not? What if she's sick or what if something's wrong with the baby what if... He feels his throat close up and his breathing become heavy, the first sign of a panic attack for him. No, stay calm. Don't freak out Beth. Everything is okay. Everything is okay. Everything is okay... He repeats his mantra in his head, trying to keep this breathing steady. He doesn't know how long he sits there chanting to himself inside his head, his hands clutching the edge of the chair so tightly his finger tips go first red, then blue. Maybe half an hour. Maybe more. His watch says 11:55am, but it doesn't mean anything to him. Just a bunch of numbers. They've been here for over twelve hours. Where is Beth? Dan inhales deeply, trying to calm himself down again.

The door opens, and Beth walks in, almost a sure-fire sign that everything's okay. She sits on the chair next to Dan and he grabs her hand.

"How are you feeling?" His voice cracks, and he clears his throat to try again. "Does anything hurt? Where's the doctor?" 

"She's having a look at the scans and stuff. I'm okay, nothing hurts anymore," she smiles, and Dan marvels at her ability to be positive in even this situation. Then her smile wavers and Dan knows something is wrong.

"Beth. What's wrong? Tell me, please." 

"Nothing I'm fine. Everything is fine."

Dan raises his eyebrows at her. She was never a good liar.

"Okay, my head still hurts a bit, but I'll be fine."

Dan moves his chair closer to Beth's, and pulls her head onto his shoulder, stroking her hair. She closes her eyes, and is so still that Dan thinks maybe she's fallen asleep. It's so quiet in the room, not even a clock is ticking. Slowly, his head droops and he falls asleep too, his hand still holding Beth's.

They sleep for maybe half an hour before the doctor comes back.

"We've got the results and - Oh." She notices that they're both asleep, and again, her eyes fill with tears. This is the only part she hates about her job. She can never keep her face under control. If they woke up now and saw her crying - again - the girl will probably freak out and her fiancee, well. She'd walked past the room earlier. The door hadn't been fully shut and she'd seen, and heard, him freaking out. His heavy breathing and his fingers clutching the chair so tight it was as though he would be the one to die if he let go.

She wipes at her eyes, trying to cover up the evidence of her tears. She clears her throat and immediately he stands up. The girl's head falls over his shoulder and wakes her up too.

"What's wrong? What's going on? Please tell me, please. Please tell me nothing's wrong, I love her too much. Please... Please..." The last word is almost a whisper.

At the word love, the doctor starts crying again, and turns her back to them, trying to control herself. She'd seen couples before, people that screamed and cried when their lover was diagnosed. But never like this. Never a trembling girl in a chair, never a man that was this in love with anyone. The concern in his face, the love. It broke her heart. It was obvious they'd been through so much. People don't look at each other like this if they haven't. There was something more to them. Something that made her job of telling them almost impossible. Painful, even.

"Please sir, please sit down. I've got something to tell you."

a/n

om f g good bye

(it's kind of short but i wanted it to end on a cliffhanger so...)

also i am going away from the 16th-26th of march so most likely no updates in between then, although i will keep writing for sure. hopefully i'll have a chapters up my sleeve by the tme i'm home.

and hey, if you get this to say...... 50 votes (which is ambitious but hey, you got the previous chapter to nearly 40 votes within like, 4 days, so i think two weeks is possible) by thie time i'm back, i'll do a double update!

kira xx