letters to dan // dan smith

Epilogue

Dear Dan, 

I love you.

I love you and I hope everything is okay and that  Astrid grows up to be just like you. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, that you have to do this on your own. But I think... No, I know that you'll be okay. Words cannot describe how much love I feel for you. It feels as though it's threatening to burst out of my chest and if I felt any more I would explode. 

Dan, I want you to be happy. Please, just... Do whatever it takes to be happy. I can only hope that you found this letter, because, chances are, I died before I could tell you. So maybe I should write this as if you're never going to read it. I'm not going to hold back.

I want you to go out there and find someone smarter and funnier and nicer than me because you deserve the world Dan. I want you to be happy and Astrid needs a mum. If you fall in love with Holly or Elsa, even better. It's not fucked up, it's great. (I'm not saying you should, I have to be the hottest wife, and they're both prettier than me. Never marry anyone hotter than me). 

I need you to, every day, remind yourself how amazing you are, because I don't want you to slip again. I want you to be happy (that's the third time I'm telling you. I hope you get the message) and Astrid needs you to be happy. When Astrid is old enough, let her read the letters. Tell her the whole story. Tell her about us.

Give Elsa and Holly my love, please. Give it to mum and dad too, and tell them thank you. Tell Astrid I would give her the stars.

Dear Dan. Everything started with a letter, and I think it's best if we finish it with one too.

Love, Beth xxx