Can't Let You Go

When you're a kid movies teach you that you are going to meet a hot guy, fall in love, and live happily ever. Well that's not the case. At least not in my world. In my world you have to survive on your own and hope for the best. That's how I've always lived until now, that is. I live with my mom but when she isn't out looking for another guy to marry. Mom is like a mosquito, she'll use you and when she has gotten what she wants, she leave you to deal with the annoyingly itchy bump. I wouldn't care if she hadn't taken me along on all of her many adventures. I try to avoid my mom as much as possible, so I go to the library to read and study unless I have to go to work. Sometimes if I get off work late I go to the park and climb up a big oak tree and stare out into the abyss.

" Where have you been?" My mom asked sitting down in the old beat up red loveseat that is placed in the center of a the crappy living room. I looked at my phone it read '1:45'.OH SHIT. I went to my favorite oak tree and fell asleep, I didn't mean to, I was just so exhausted.

"Sorry ma. I just fell asleep -" she interrupts me all the time. It really makes me upset but I never say anything.

"You're always sorry Ava-Lynn. I had something to tell you, it was very important but you weren't here. I hadn't a clue of where you were, I was worried." She says in her most upset voice. She wasn't mad because to be mad she would have to care, and we both know she doesn't. I plaster on my 'I am so sorry face'. Even though I wasn't and we both knew that, too.

She continues to say that she is getting remarried, no surprise there, she say that he is 'the one'. Yeah right, she says that about every other guy she married. Yeah she thought they were the one until she got the expensive wedding, fancy car, and the hundred thousands of dollars. My mom is a first class gold digger. She has a killer body that rich pricks couldn't help but be attracted to. She has beach blonde hair that came out of a bottle, a curvy figure, and icy blue eyes. A Barbie Doll. She is as fake and plastic as a Barbie doll. She can't be trusted, she may say something but have her fingers crossed. I have a pretty low opinion of my mother, but it's her fault, she is the one who puts me in third place. It's always her first, the man second , and me third unless she forgets about me, which she usually does. I don't care, I'm used to it, but not anymore I only have a few months until I turn 18 and I am out.

Mom didn't get the response she wanted but I don't care what she wants. This is so typical mom she wants me to happy for her but she doesn't know that it kills me that she is so dependent on a man. I vowed to never be put in a situation to need a mans help. That's why I stay to myself, work, and try my best in school. I'll be independent, self made, and happy. Mom is unhappy, she uses a man to get what she thinks will help her fill this empty hole in her. Little does she know I can help her fill this hole because what she really needs is unconditional love. I could give that to her if she stops chasing after all these guys. Although I have a low opinion of my mom I will always love her and I can't stop, I mean she's my mom. She wasn't always this bad, she used to spend time with me everyday , tell me she loved me everyday, and tuck me in. That was until she lost her job. She slept with her boss and his wife found out.

We were going to lose the house but we didn't she got married to Jerry a million dollar ass hole. We lived with him, it was okay at first but then I realized he was a bad guy, he cheated on Mom with a different girl every week. They divorced after ten months of marriage and because he cheated she got half a million dollars. Two words: Prenuptial Agreement. She blew through the money really quickly spending it on a house and expensive clothes she used to seduce the rich man. None of the money went to me, there was barley any food in the house and I had wore the same clothes for two years. They were way to small, I looked like an eleven year old slut. The kids at school just said I was getting fat and they bullied and teased me about it up until seventh grade.