And You Are?

24th December: 2016

12:12am:
I just don't understand why you didn't tell me sooner Ash x

12:12am:
I think I was just afraid of how you'd take it
knowing it's just me and Cami
that we are all we have to each other

12:12am:
it took a lot for you to tell me, and I'm grateful to be trusted enough

12:12am:

after what you told me I thought it was only fair to be completely honest
all cards out on the table

12:12am:
so you've been Cami's full time guardian for what, 2, 3 years?

12:12am:
coming on 3 years in May
we were in a foster home until I was 18 and then I was able to be considered to be the guardian

got a job once I finished school

we get by fine
she doesn't know any different

12:13am:
do you remember them?
your parents?

12:13am:

a little
Mum wasn't up to much, hell neither of them were
Cami was only a baby when they took us away
and I only remember bits and pieces
I think subconsciously I blocked most of it out

12:13am:
Ash I am, I'm so sorry
I had no idea

and those times I'd complain about my parents or told them to let me be when we skyped

I feel like crap about that

12:13am:
you don't need to be sorry Amy
its not like it affects me 
I'm just glad you now know x 
feels better

12:13am:
it does doesn't it
next time we skype, can I speak to Cami?
only if you think it's alright, I don't want her being confused

12:13am:
I think she'd love that
really

12:13am:
I look forward to it :)

so, Christmas day has begun for you?

12:13am:
Cami is in bed, my Aunt is visiting who lives in New Zealand so she managed to make it to visit us for the week.
We got Cami to bed early enough to get her presents all under the tree

she's so excited
how about you?
Excited?

12:13am:
I'm not sure
like christmas isn't what it used to be as a child
not that it isn't exciting
just that the magic isn't there
but that's a part of growing up, moving on into adulthood

12:13am:
you couldn't have said it better
can I ask you something Amy?

12:15am:
of course

whats up?

12:15am:
you mentioned the other day about visiting next year

12:15am:
yeah Joe and Pailey, his girlfriend want us to visit
so we agreed to go for my birthday

12:15am:
your birthday is in April?

12:15am:
going to be 20

getting old 

12:15am:
if I could

would you want to meet up?

face to face
not through a screen

12:15am:
I'd love to

12:15am:
really?

12:15am:

that so hard to believe?

12:16am:

yes

12:16am:
why?

12:16am:
because I'm just me, some guy who isn't a conformist to the stereotype of an Aussie.
I'm the guardian of my six year old sister who spends his spare time playing with her and writing new songs and talking to a girl who is out of his league and way too far to physically reach

thats me
ashton.

12:16am: 
and what?
because of those things that makes you any less of a person?
Ashton, you are incredible
you are an achiever with big dreams
don't doubt your inner optimist
and more importantly stop listening to the pessimist on your shoulder

12:16am:
how did I get so lucky to have someone like you in my life?

12:16am:
I ask myself that everyday
about you though
not about myself
that'd be vain 

12:16am:
just a tad bit conceited
anyway I should probably get some sleep
Cami will be up in a few hours so I won't get much rest for the next few days
thank you for the skype call earlier 

12:16am:
I'm always here to talk Ash
you know that

Merry Christmas Ashton x 

12:17am:
Merry Christmas Amelia
and thank you for everything x