John didn't bother going to second period- instead he sat on the floor in an empty music practice room with his head in his hands. He didn't cry- he felt too numb for that- but he felt angry that Abby's lies could destroy everything in less than a day. He'd made it stupidly clear that he didn't like her, for God's sake. Something in him still hoped that Hale wouldn't hear about this, but he knew Elizabeth too well to expect her to go back on her word; that girl would never lie. He spent the rest of the day scowling at anyone who looked in his direction, and came very close to hitting Parris after he started talking very loudly about some people's 'loose sexual morals' at lunch. Everyone knew it was just his way of calling Proctor a slut.
Proctor had given up caring when he reached his house, so he shoved open the door with as much force as he could muster, letting the crash echo down the hallway. He threw his bag into the study, surprised not to see his dad still hunched over his laptop as he normally was when Proctor returned from school, and even more surprised that he hadn't yet heard yelling from wherever in the house his dad was. He moved through to the kitchen and opened the fridge- not getting anything out but just staring into it for a while before closing the door again. He decided instead to fix himself a glass of water, so he pulled a glass out of the cupboard and ran the tap until it was cold.
He was taking his bag upstairs to his room as quietly as possible, his original eagerness to get the conversation with his dad over replaced with a sinking feeling of dread, when he heard actual sobbing from his dad's room. Proctor didn't think he'd seen his dad cry in years- not since his mum's funeral- and he stood awkwardly on the landing, wondering whether he should do anything. Eventually he resolved to leave his bag on the landing and enter his dad's room. It was easier to deal with him when he was sad than angry, he figured.
"Dad?" He pushed the door open gently, stepping into the room and padding across the carpeted floor. His dad was sitting on his bed, and open bible in his lap and tears streaming down his face.
"John," he looked up as Proctor took a seat next to him. "I'm so sorry kid- I know I've never been the best parent, and you never had a proper mother figure since..." he broke off to sniff dejectedly, "I didn't realize I failed you like this."
"Like what, dad?" Proctor was taken aback by the apology and the tears- his dad had always been so stoic and unmovable, an unalterable presence in his life.
"I mean, the email I got from your teacher- I know," his speech was constantly interrupted by the hiccups of his fading tears, "things haven't been- easy for you, but, John you can talk to me. You don't have to do all this gay stuff-"
"Look, dad, no ones forcing me to do anything- I really like Hale-"
"I don't know why you'd do this to me? I always tried to be a good father, and- bring you up a good Christian kid, like your mother would have wanted. What did I do wrong, John?"
Proctor was starting to get annoyed- his dad was treating his sexuality like some sort of tragic illness.
"Can't you just be normal?" His dad said as Proctor got up from the bed- the conversation was now too much for him.
"Dad, I'm not dying, I just like guys," he made one last attempt to appeal to his dads reason.
"If you could be serious for a second you'd realize I'm just trying to do what's best for you," Proctors dad stood up too. Proctor was tall but his dad was a giant by comparison and it made Proctor feel like a child again, frightened by his dads grief. His dad sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Give me your phone."
"What?"
"This whole- you know- thing, is to do with that Hale kid isn't it. He must have persuaded you, or, manipulated... Whatever it is, I don't want him in your life any more John. So give me your phone."
"What are you going to do?" Proctors chest felt tight- Elizabeth had probably already told Hale what a terrible person he was and he really didn't need a homophobic father thrown into the mix.
"I'm just going to delete his number, and- keep your phone for a while, so you can concentrate on getting over this nonsense. I'm also changing the sessions of that bible study class you go to and warning your teacher to keep you away from each other." He held out his hand expectantly, "Now hand it over."
John walked unwillingly through to fish his phone out of his bag and hand it to his dad. At least he still had his laptop- although he had no idea who he could talk to. His dad turned the phone on and then asked him for the password which Proctor gave away warily, vowing to change it as soon as he got his phone back. Neither of them spoke after that, so Proctor assumed he had been dismissed and trudged back to his room. Why was the universe out to get him? And, more importantly in his mind, how could he get the truth to Hale?
YOU ARE READING
Pulling Down Heaven
RomantizmA teen bible study group, two confused Johns and a whole lot of angst ~~proctale lol Don't judge me this isn't serious and it's set in England because I don't understand the American school system