Chapter 9 - it's my fault

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[don't play the song until it says to]

The ambulance sirens were loud and clear and could be heard from miles away, Izzy's heart was racing as she looked down at an unconscious Clary lying with no movement at all. Izzy had texted Jace to meet her at the hospital, the paramedics were unsure what had caused Clary to pass out, there were no signs of physical injuries and it was unclear how long she had been like this. Izzy had tried calling Clary around half eleven to tell her how it went the night before with Simon and after a few try's and no answer, she decided to go see her and find out what was wrong and never expected to find Clary lying on the bathroom floor, not breathing. The ambulance arrived at the hospital and Izzy jumped out first before following the paramedics as they took Clary inside, the furthest Izzy could go was just beyond the waiting room next to the reception. Izzy heard her name being shouted and turned to see Jace run towards her.

"Where is she!" He shouted, unable to catch his breath.
"They took her back there, we can't go any further—"
"I need to see her." Jace tried to enter the off limits area but was stopped by one of the doctors who was trying to save Clary. Jace gave up trying to get past and sat down on one of the seats in the hospital corridors.
"I can't lose her Iz, I can't." He said with his hands behind his head as he looked down at the floor. Crying. Simon and Magnus had arrived around 15 minutes after Jace and Izzy did, Alec was left at home to stay with Max, Jocelyn and Luke had pasted everyone, looking worried and confused. Jace was still looking down, with tears flowing out like a waterfall.

"Jace? Izzy?" Said Jocelyn. Izzy ran to her and filled her in on the situation. It'd been almost an hour, everyone was talking amongst themselves and Jace still hadn't spoken a single word. One of the doctors was walking into the waiting room, "Clary fray's family." He said, Jocelyn shot up with Luke and Izzy a step behind her. Jace looked up, listening in, Simon and Magnus had been watching him and noticed that something was off aside from the events happening. It was like you could physically see something be broken.
"Is she alright?"
"How is she?"
The doctor sighed, which put more fear inside Jace. "She's alright, we've gotten most of the pills out her system but we couldn't prevent her from the coma." Jocelyn gasped before the doctor continued. "And I'm sorry to say, she lost the baby."
All eyes were now on Jace, they'd think the baby was his but the timing wouldn't add up right.
"She was pregnant?" Jocelyn asked in disbelief. Izzy's eyes were still on Jace as he got up and walked away, he could feel the tears in his eyes bubble up even more and didn't want anyone to see him so vulnerable.
"Yes, about 2-3 months." Izzy heard as she left to find her brother.

She found Jace a few corridors away, sitting on the floor staring down. She joined his side, it was hard for Izzy but she felt better knowing Clary was alright but looking at Jace it seemed all those walls he built around himself, for years they stayed high just fell with one simple thing. She'd never seen her brother like this since he'd been welcomed into her home but this time he looked more broken than humanly possible.
"Did you know." Izzy started to say, "did you know about the baby."
Jace turned his head to look at his sister straight in her eyes, showing what he felt and what he knew.
"I can't do this Iz, how am I supposed to go on if she, if she—"
Izzy wrapped her arms around Jace as he cried his eyes out, they made their way back to the waiting room just as Jocelyn, Luke, Simon and Magnus were also walking back in.

The first thing Jocelyn noticed about Jace as he walked was how much you could tell he loved and cared for Clary. His body language was still showing the same as usual, strong and confident but his face had went a light pink colour and his eyes red and puffed up with tears. Jocelyn had taken him to the room where Clary was. 253. He went in alone, he wanted to be alone. The first thing he saw clearly, past his blurred vision was her vibrant red hair. He pulled one of the chairs next to her side and took her right hand around his.
"You promised me." He said. "You promised me you wouldn't take anymore pills." He couldn't stop his tears from gushing out. "Come back to me baby, please."

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