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It was soon PE. I hated it. I mean, who doesn't hate it?
I was getting changed in the locker room with the other boys and talking with Chris about random things as Will came over to us and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.
"Hey babe." He said cheerfully as if nothing had ever happened and kissed my head. I was a bit taken back, obviously.
"Um..h-hi?"
"Wanna come over tonight?"
"Of course!" I smiled happily and kissed his cheek.
He kissed my head again and walked off. I looked over at Chris only to see he was gone. All his stuff too. I frowned a bit, but then shrugged. He probably didn't feel well or something like that. What mattered now was that Will regretted everything and wanted to be with me again!
I was actually pretty happy for the rest of the day. I didn't see Chris anymore, but maybe he got sick or something.
After school I texted my mom and went over to Will's place with him. I didn't dare to ask him about what had happened between us, so I decided to just ignore it. And apparently he did too.
"How was your day babe?" he asked.
I smiled. "It was pretty good, thanks baby. And yours?"
"Same here." He smiled and squeezed my ass lightly, causing me to giggle. Even though we didn't have sex I liked small things like that.
We spent the evening in his room, just talking, cuddling and listening to music. Sadly he didn't have the same taste as I did, but I didn't dare saying anything against the music we were listening to.
Yes, I was scared of him, but I was trying my hardest to supress everything he had done to me. I mean, who else would ever love me? Noone. I had to stick with him or else I would be alone forever.
On my way home I finally texted Chris, asking him if he was okay. I felt bad, because I was like 28310 hours late. But at least I asked. I put my phone in my pocket and listened to music and my thoughts.
It's amazing how music can make you feel. It can make you sad, it can make you happy and it can make you feel relieved. One song can change your whole day, or maybe even your whole life. The most special thing about music to me is the fact that it can connect people. You could meet someone at the concert of your favorite band and before you know it you have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Music was like a form of magic for me.
I finally arrived at home and went straight to my room and got ready for the night. I hummed the song I was just listening to while removing my makeup. I smiled. Everything was going well again. I brushed my teeth and laid on my bed. I grabbed my phone and checked my messages. Chris had seen my text, but hadn't replied me. I sighed and turned off my phone. Almost every one I knew did this to me. It made me feel so insecure and bad about myself. Was I boring? Did I annoy the person I texted? The same way small things can make your day, they can also ruin your day in a second.
I decided not to listen to my paranoid thoughts (which is hard and probably impossible, but you know, I really tried) and go to sleep.
I put my phone away and closed my eyes, but I didn't fall asleep. I couldn't. There was just too much going on in my head.
I sighed and thought about the song I had listened to before.
I have my fear, but it doesn't have me.
I wish it would be like that. My thoughts were getting darker. What if I annoyed everyone and it was just a fun game to ignore me and keep me around?
I wasn't a resentful person. I was way too good. I forgave everyone immediately if they had done something to me, because I felt bad about being mad at them. I still had to figure out if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I sighed deeply. Why did my mind have to be so loud? I just wanted to sleep...

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