Lucidity 2

VI

"I could start off driving if you'd like. Just set the google maps up." Lucy offered.

"I've got it, but thank you."

The first couple hours of the drive was almost completely silent. I did already have to make a stop for gas because I forgot to fill up the tank before I left our home city. After that I broke the silence. I reached into my back pocket, grabbed the folded piece of paper out from last night, and handed it to Lucy. I haven't been able to look at it yet, I just couldn't face it. Plus this is a good way to bring up the conversation that we obviously need to speak about.

"Would you read that to me please?'' I asked. I could feel Lucy look at me with a pleading expression on her face. I can tell she didn't want to but she unfolded it anyways.

"I love you, and I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you, I just can't do it anymore." Lucy softly read out loud.

"Do what exactly Lucy?"

"I'm not sleeping, I'm not getting any rest, I'm completely stressed out, and my body was shutting down anyway."

"Lucy this is not the answer. There are multitudes of options for you, suicide is absolutely not one of them. Not for you, and not for anybody. There's counseling, medications, sleeping medications, therapy. I can't believe you'd just want to give up like that. It is not your time. What about our future? Our goals, and experiences we've planned to have. Lucy, please promise me you won't ever do that again. Don't leave me here alone."

"What if that's the only way to kill her? What if that's the only way to get rid of her?"

"She is a dream Lucy, a fucking nightmare. You are not going to let a recurring dream kill you that is insane. You need to clear your mind. Take this opportunity to breathe in some fresh air and relax. Don't think about anything at all, and when we get back if you're still having these dreams I will help you find a therapist. We will get you everything you need and I'm going to be here to help you through it all."

I took her hand, she held it for the entire drive, and we switched about halfway through. I did take the wheel again towards the end because I know this town, I've been here before once on a summer vacation. Galveston Texas is like the hotspot for visiting travelers. It's always so populated with all kinds of different people. After driving around for a couple minutes I found a nice little motel that was pretty affordable and only a couple blocks from the beach. We could even walk and save us some time searching for a parking spot. Once we checked in and received our key we brought our things up to the room.

"I can already smell the ocean." said Lucy.

"We're going to have a great time," I replied.

"What do you think about trying one of the restaurants on the beach and then just sort of hanging out there afterward?"

"Yeah, I was sort of thinking the same thing," I replied happily to see that she's starting to become more excited about this trip.

It didn't take us long to decide where we wanted to go. It's a largely populated seafood restaurant that looks like it's always busy. I could smell the food cooking before I even got out of my car in the parking lot. Lucy took my hand on the way into the double doors and opened it for me.

"You're so polite," I tell her. She gives me a smile and tells the Host we need a table for two. She gave us a card and told us it'd be about a five to ten-minute wait. It wasn't really that long. We were seated at a nice table by the window. Our view is amazing, we can both look to the side of us and see all the people on the beach and the calm ocean waves making their way up to the shore. It's so beautiful it looks like a professionally made GIF photo.

"I think I'd be a good idea to actually take a look at the menu Primrose," Lucy said to me with a charming smile.

"Have I ever told you what an odd sense of humor you have?"

Lucy just continued to smile at me for a moment, "I don't think I've properly thanked you yet."

"For?"

"Loving me, saving my life, and putting everything on pause for a moment."

We didn't spend too much time at the restaurant because we wanted to get to the beach before sunset. Once we set up our towels, we race to the water. We're having so much fun chasing and splashing one another. We stayed in that water until it was pitch dark.

"How are you holding up?" Lucy asked.

I sarcastically let my entire body float above the water.

"Thank you for the detailed explanation ma'am." Lucy continued. She grabbed me from behind and we enjoyed one another's laughter. The waves are beginning to pick up. I must admit it is kind of scary considering the fact that I am not the best swimmer. I actually can not swim at all, but I know Lucy can and she won't let anything happen to me.

"Hey, we are kind of far out, with the waves the water is coming up to our necks," I pointed out.

"Agreed, let's swim up a little closer to the shore."

The waves help me a lot to get closer to the shore. I look around and back to Lucy and I don't see her. I try to peep my head under water but I see nothing, it is too dark. I begin to panic and my heart is racing, my mind keeps going back to when I was pulling her out my tub and when I was helplessly thinking I had lost her. I'm having those exact same feelings right now. Then I see a flashlight from the shore turn on pointing at me, it was Lucy.

"What's taking you so long?" she asked.

I feel so relieved just to be able to finally see her and know that she is okay. I run towards her as fast as I can almost startling her and grab her holding her in my arms tight.

"Are you okay?"

"I am now," I finally answered.

"Maybe we should head back to the room."

Once we packed up everything and got back to the room I had finally calmed down. I'm just now realizing that it's going to take me awhile to get back to normal. Every time she's not in my presence now even if it is only for a short moment, I become extremely worried.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" asked Lucy.

"There isn't one," I replied. That made Lucy laugh a little.

"I'm having a really great time here with you Primrose."

I look into her eyes and realize how sincere she is, "So am I."