Sucker For Pain

Prologue

I woke up to a ringing phone, the sound loud and shrill as it seeped through my sleepy haze. Automatically looking at the screen on my cell phone, only to realize the ringing was coming from the land line.  I groaned aloud at being disturbed from my pleasant dream.

And then I heard Valary's high-pitched voice on my machine, urging me to pick up, pick up, please pick up. Oh shit, I thought as I sat up too quickly, and my apartment  began to spin.  What the hell have I done?

Matt Sanders, AKA M Shadows, was sleeping in my bed, his bare back to me, well muscled and tan with a few adorable freckles.  I poked him in the side a little bit harder than necessary. He rolled over and looked at me adorably confused before a look of horror came across his face.

"Oh, fuck! What time is it?" he said sitting straight up as his girlfriend's voice spoke in the background.

I looked at my cellphone and replied "A little after 7:15."

He jumped out of bed quickly, gathering his clothes, which were strewn along either side of my bed.

The answering machine beeped twice, cutting Val off. She called back, rambling about how Matt never came home. Again, my machine silenced her in mid sentence.

She called back a third time, wailing, "Wake up and call me! I need you!"

I started to get out of bed, then realized that I was naked. I sat back down and covered myself with a pillow. "Omigod. What do we do?" My voice was hoarse and shaking. "Should I answer? Tell her you crashed here?"

"Hell, no! Don't pick up-lemme think for a sec." He sat down, wearing only boxers, and rubbed his jaw, which was covered by the sexy beard that drives women around the world wild.

I suddenly felt nauseous, realizing that I literally just slept with my best friend's boyfriend. A boyfriend who was also one of my best friends but still...a taken man. I began to cry, mostly out of anger at myself. But of course crying wasn't going to help anything.

"Look Jess....don't cry," he said soothingly in his deep baritone. "Everything is going to be okay." He pulled on his jeans and then his shirt before pulling his cellphone out of the back pocket of his jeans. "Fuck...she's called about a million times," he said calmer than I felt. Only his whiskey colored eyes showed panic. He took three deep breaths and then looked at me. "Okay..Jess...listen to me...this is whats going to happen. Jessie...look at me."

I looked at him as I wiped under my eyes, clutching my pillow.

"This will be fine. Just listen," he said self assured as if he were talking to the crowd at a concert.

"I'm listening," I said roughly.

"I'm going to tell her that I stayed at the bar till it closed with Brian and then we went to Aftershock till five..and then we just got breakfast and I crashed there with him. I've got it covered."

I nodded "What do I tell her?"

"Tell her you left the party after she got sick and went home...say you can't remember for sure if  I was still there but you think I was there with Brian. And be sure to say think...not for sure. And that's all you know...you got it?" He waited for me to nod before continuing "Call her now. I'll call Brian as soon as I leave here. Okay?"

I nodded again, trying to keep my eyes from filling with tears as he made his way toward the door.

"And calm down," he added, not in a mean way but in a firm voice as he reached for the door knob, stopping only to run his hand through his dark wavy hair that is just long enough to be really sexy.

"What if she already called and talked to Brian?" I asked "We will be so screwed if that  happens."

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me in the doorway. For a minute, I was sure he was going to let me have it for being so negative...and tell me to get my head out of my ass and pull myself together. That's what I would have done if the roles had been reversed. But he lowered that deep voice with a slight grin, so slight you would have missed it if you didn't know him. "Jess....its going to be fine. Just say what I told you to say....And Jessica...."

"Yeah?"

"I'm really really sorry."

"Yeah," I replied feeling the tears threaten again. "Me too."

Are we talking to each other.... or to Valary?

After he left I grabbed a t-shirt to cover myself and after a few minutes, I reached for the  cordless phone trying to work up the nerve to dial Val's number.

It only rang twice before she picked up yelling. "Matthew didn't come home last night. He'd so better be laying on the side of the road somewhere."

"Good morning to you too, Val," I replied marveling at the calmness of my voice.

She ignored me. "Do you think he's cheating on me?"

That was Val for you...she always went to the most dramatic scenario there was. "I'm sure he isn't cheating on you."

She scoffed. "Why are you so sure?"

"Because seriously...c'mon Val...have you seen you?" I couldn't believe how easily these words came out of my mouth.

"Well then where the fuck is he? Aftershock closed at 5. It's almost eight now."

"I'm sure he's got a good excuse, Val."

"What time did you leave the bar?" she demanded.

"After you puked... on my new shoes, I might add," I said quickly adding "you were completely trashed."

"So? We were celebrating. They finished recording the new album..it was a good reason to get shitfaced drunk."

"True," I agreed. It was a good reason to get drunk but not a good reason to screw your best friend's boyfriend. "Did you call the guys?"

"Johnny and Zacky were clueless and Jimmy...he was more drunk than I was. Leana said he was snoring loud enough to wake the dead."

"And Brian?" I asked tentatively trying not to let my voice climb an octave.

"That dumbass didn't answer his cell."

YES! We had a prayer.

Before I could reply, I heard the click of a call waiting. Val excused herself and clicked over and then back telling me it was Matt and that she'd call me later.

I dragged my ass to the bathroom to take a shower and wait to see if we are caught or if we have a chance. The fear of Val finding out was overwhelming...not because I was regretful or even ashamed of betraying her friendship. The only real guilt I felt was for not feeling guilty at all for sleeping with Matt.

I was so going to hell.