Sucker For Pain

Chapter 7

Val was completely one hundred percent right. I have zero available (that's the key word) prospects right now. Not that I couldn't...I mean I can admit to myself that I'm good looking. I've had more than my share of boyfriends in my life but I've never been ready to settle down with anyone. But when Val mentioned taking that next step with Matt, I admit for the first time, I felt the need to settle down for the first time in my life. So when Jason gave me a call, I said yes.

But that wasn't the major reason, I said yes. I really said yes because Matt bet against me. Like he thought his naked physique had cast some sort of magic spell over me and I would turn Jason down because I just can't stop thinking about him. As if.

But as soon as I said yes, I started to obsess. I started to ask myself "why now?" I mean Jason and I have known each other for years with little interest being shown between us. Yeah I know...he had a girlfriend but still...why right now after the "incident?" Did Matt tell him something? Maybe he told the guys and Jason is trying to get the heat off of Matt's conscience by taking me off of his hands. Or maybe, now that he knew, he thought I'd be a sure thing. Wait... No...Brian would have told me if Matt had told everyone...especially if he told everyone it was me, right?

Damn...I have to know at that point just what the hell Matt has said to everyone. I decided I had to call him. Yeah that was it...I had to call him to find out. When the phone started ringing, I debated hanging up. No, you have to hear his voice...I mean find out what he said, I thought to myself. Despite the churning in my stomach, I stayed on the line.

"Sanders," his deep voice said after the 5th ring.

"So what did you tell Jason about what happened last Saturday?" I blurted out as my heart raced.

His chuckle came across the line. "Well hello to you too, Jess."

I softened only slightly "Hi Matt."

"Last Saturday? Hmmm....what was last Saturday? I don't remember. Refresh my memory." His tone was teasing and I couldn't help but feel slightly giddy.

"I'm serious, Matt. Did you say something to him? To the guys...I mean about it being me. What did you tell them?"

"What do you think I told them?" he asked.

"MATTHEW!"

"I could tell them now if you want. They are downstairs playing pool."

"You want me to have a heart attack, don't you? You'd just love that," I accused.

"Oh Jessie, relax," he said, his tone still amused. "I didn't tell Jason anything. I didn't tell any of the guys anything. What do you think we are? High school dudes in the locker room? Why would I tell them our business?"

Our business, my mind echoes. Our. We. Us.

"You did tell Brian though...mostly anyway. I know you are closer to him than the others."

"Yeah, I told Brian the gist...I said 'Hey I was with you last night and we had breakfast-all right?' And that was that. I'm sure he had follow up questions but he didn't ask any. That's not how dudes work. We aren't like girls."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean you and Val share every exhaustive detail with one another. Like what you ate that day or what kind of shampoo you plan to buy. Hell you can't even buy a bikini without each other's approval...but now that I think of it, that sounds kind of hot. Two chicks trying on swimwear."

"How about when you sleep with each other's boyfriend or girlfriend? Things like that?" I interjected.

He laughed again. "Yeah that would be a great example. Remember when Jimmy slept with Jillian Anders...poor Brian."

I wasn't amused at the memory. "How about when you make a bet that I'd say no to Jason's date?"

This time his laughter was booming. "She told you, huh? Damn it Valary."

"Yeah she told me that."

"And did it piss you off? You sound pissed off."

"No it didn't piss me off," I replied calming "But it did make me say yes."

"Oh damn...so that's how it works, huh? So you're saying had Val not shared that piece of information, you would have turned my boy down?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" I replied coyly.

"I would, Jess, actually. Please...do tell."

"I actually have no idea," I admitted "But why would you think I'd say no?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he retorted.

I smiled to myself. He was flirting with me.

"Okay, okay," he explained. "I thought you'd say no because Jason doesn't seem to be your type."

"Oh yeah? And who is?" I asked and then felt instantly sorry. Flirting with Matt was not the way to make up for the "incident." My brain kept flashing the warning signs but my heart was just about to pound out of my chest waiting for his answer.

"I have no idea," he replied. "I've been trying to figure that one out for years."

What does even mean? I thought to myself but couldn't bring myself to ask. I should hang up the phone now. Hang up the phone and not look back. This was going all wrong.

"Jess?" he said, his deep voice low and intimate.

I felt breathless, hearing him say my name that way. Familiar and warm. "Yeah?"

"You still there?"

"Yes...I am still here." Physically anyway. Mentally I was about to lose my mind thinking about his touch.

"What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," I lied quickly.

I had to lie. Because what I was thinking was about the tingly feelings his voice was inspiring in places he wasn't touching at all.

"Are you riding with us to Tal's  in San Diego?" he asked changing the subject abruptly.

I wanted to say no. I should have said no. I had already told Val that I didn't think I would but for some reason, I couldn't turn him down. 

"Sure, Matt...that would be great."