My Red Queen |Red Queen fanfic|

Never loved me

~Mare~

What was this? What was his reaction?

   He walked in on us, caught us at the peak of the moment. He saw me in his brother's arms. He witnessed me kissing him, touching him. He cried physical tears .
   A part of me feels the need to be happy for us. We , Cal and I, have finally got him back. Our desire to have one another was all it took to bring Maven to tears. Such hideous tears. I selfishly feel proud of myself for giving away my purity. Because now he now knows the very last part of me has been given to someone else.

"A small victory for us," I cheer , "he wanted to have me for so long it now he can't. He cried for me, he's hurt by me".

Cal redressed himself rather quickly.  He seemed less excited than I was, even to the point of bearing a fearful expression.

"Mare, this is dangerous. You and I both know how obsessed he is with you. This will have consequences", he sounds disgustingly terrified.

   What the hell is this? Moments before he was welcoming me into his arms, he caressed me , he kissed me passionately. He boldly slept with me knowing full and well that Maven could easily catch us. Was this a trick as well? Did he use me to get back at his brother?

"You anticipated this", I glare, "you were the one touching me and kissing me".

He furrowed his brow, "you wanted me to".

  I fold my arms tightly around my half naked body. I squeeze my eyelids shut, I feel a tear trickle down my flushed cheek. Hotly I fold inward, silently hating myself for my lack of self control.
  These damn Calores are like a disease. You know the dangers of not protecting yourself, you see the damage and yet you do nothing to stray from it.

"I know... I know" I whisper.

"If you're so worried about Maven why did you have sex with me? Was this you getting even with him? Hmm, did you have revenge sex with me because you knew this would destroy him!" .

His silence is deafening. 

No yes or no

"Yes Mare I knew this would even the score" he admits.

Crack!

Did you hear that? A piece of my heart just tore from my chest.

Another tear drips from  my eye, this time so much faster.

    "Y-y- you did use me" I stammer .  "Were you lying to me too! Did you ever even  love me at all?".

He runs a hand through messy hair. Those wretched amber eyes filled with satisfaction.  Cal rubs my soaked cheek with the back of his hand, a look of sheer pity comes over him.  I fight the urge to backhand him .

"Don't get me wrong Mare , you were always so charming, a refreshing difference to my boring daily life but, you were never anything more than an obstacle ".

You're nothing Mare, nothing , nothing , nothing

"You're worse than him" I croak  out , "at least Maven had some feelings for me".

He chuckles darkly. "Don't be so naive , we were never a possibility. We're too different. I really did like you but even I can't walk away from my kingdom for some gullible little Red girl".

"I like you , I do-"

Before I let him finish , I slammed the back of my elbow into his jaw.  The harsh sound of bones shattering drowns out my tears. He yelps like a wounded dog , I draw back a bruised arm.

"You're both monsters".

"Not so fast Mareena ,  your hands aren't so clean either. Did you forget that you destroyed your sister's sewing career?Do you forget that you helped kill Silvers? Do you forget that you betrayed me for my brother?".

"You're not the hero of this story, you're a villain".