The journey from incomplete to complete

Chpy 13

Anjana's pov

Last night was superb... We all had dinner at Mumbai's top restaurant. Everything is going good I think so all my friends accepted him as my fiancee. It's good for me only.... When you will give him the place that he deserves Anjana? I don't know... Would I be able to trust someone else again...? Would I be able to love someone..? Still I don't get answer. Today I was free at evening and soon Akhil will be here. we'll again move to that park for continuing my past. It's all past still he listens so attentively he respect my words I feel. "Ting tong.. "the door bell sounded. Surely its Akhil ,I opened the door and found same face whom I was guessing about "Hey"he welcome with his signature smile I passed him same. "ready..?"he asked about I'm ready to leave or not "Um.. Yeah" I said bit hesitated because today I'm not in a mood to go outside I'll convince him to stay at home will continue the remaining part here only. "What happen... Are you OK... Not feeling well... Say something Anjana"he said in rush touching my forehead and speaking like as if missing his urgent flight today but he's caring "If you will allow me to speak then only na.." my tone was sarcastic. "Anjana.... "he glared "Ohk fine... Don't worry I'm all fine I was just bored and not in a mood to go outside Plzz can be stay here only and I promise I'll continue remaining part also "I made my cutest puppy face to convince but his expression was weird he pulled my cheeks and said "Aww Anju you r so cute.... "he chuckle "Akhil I asked you something can you answer it first plzz"i don't know why I'm behaving like this "As you wish my lord"he bowed his head "hm...good "I also played with him in this stupid game. We settled at one corner at the floor not on couch, not on bed, not chair. He was confused at my weird behavior but I too don't know why I'm behaving like this may be I feel him as my own asset  I mean I don't have to act in manners with him as I feel, he too also didn't question my behavior but enjoyed it.

Flashback ***************

It was hard to accept me that he was really serious now every day I enter with a hope to change his decision but failed. I accepted all his conditions not conditions but all this orders he never liked me talking to any other boy so I stopped talking to dada also and dada also didn't asked anything to me. He changed my dressing styles,  my talking style he was reserve person talking to only limited peoples only I too changed like him. He changed my sitting position that also I accepted. I learnt to sacrifice, learnt to respect, learnt to behave , learnt to value things , learnt to accept and specially learnt to love. He taught me many things but forget to taught me how to forget. Every day it was difficult for me to live as if I'm addicted to him he was serving like a drug. I missed his words missed his touch missed his smile missed his possession missed his love. My friends sense all this but my words were very few to everyone as exams were coming and we enjoyed full semester so now my study time start began. Every day when I used to leave for school I prayed God to don't let me in with open eyes. I want to die but not have that much courage to kill myself. Dada used to say suicide is the worst attempt in life ever. My teachers also sense some  weird changes in my behavior one day my class teacher sat beside me at recess timing and asked "Anjana what's wrong with you bacha... Is everything OK... Im observing you from few days you don't look good there is something bothering....?Want to share then you can "I was amused listening her did really my behavior affect any one in school. I was a bright student with less friends communicate less with others quite and disciplined. That's why many peoples didn't like me but my teachers words surprised me I replied cheerfully "No mam it's nothing like that.... I m fine all good it's just exams are near so I'm stressed about it "I replied "Are you sure"she asked and I hmm but my friend Pratiksha she got new queries for me. I know she won't let me I disclose everything to her but the truth that my Sir's girlfriend is any one else not me. So she knows the truth but half truth. Every day I used to curse my self why I'm still alive. It was very hard to hide my state of mind from my family ,I have to smile in front of then otherwise they would doubt. You know it's very hard to enter house with smile when all you want to do is scream, cry, sob but can't. Every night pillow get wet,  dada and my friends get aware of all this stuff and was like "I'll kill you Anjana "dada used to yell "but why dada"i asked "You threw up water on my whole plan "what is it was a plan incredible yaar "yeah he don't wanted to trouble you by his own feeling so that's why he send me to take this batch that you know already but he never wanted you and him together because you were not ready but I wanted and that so you are together... I mean were.... But you bloody dog finished my plan before it begin " I know about that i and he was together just because of dada and that's why sometimes he used to say 'I never earned you Anjana it was dada who gave you to me '  but I ignored all time. My friends are so aliens that during my break up they are discussing about their contribution in my relationship umm yeah I not totally earned it was all my friends but at this moment to they have to discuss it. They used to show some stunts to make me smile I used to smile but not from heart it was my lips who stretch into curls where my heart it was totally shattered now I can't find it pieces also. Dada got this also he said ''why I feel like you fake smiling as if you are laughing but not from heart. "I don't know how he get to know all this but somewhere he was right but I always denied. Now I believed that he is not written in my destiny.... We are meant to fall in love with each other but never meant to stay together and I accepted that also. All I want his happiness nothing else. Days went like wind... 2 months passed and now only one month is remaining for our exams and still we haven't talked he used to come but only for teaching nothing else now it was like habit and I accepted all this just waiting for this academic year to end so that I can leave this classes but something else was waiting for me. One day when he was lecturing he got a call from his father who was at his village searching brides for him first it hurt me but later it was good for him only so I ignored and continued with studies. He talked with his father accepting his words "Dad you can do whatever you want I won't ask you any question if they are ready then I don't have any issues "he stated from this side his words explained everything to me uncle have chosen a girl for him and may be after 2 months he would married. Now its enough for me to leave this class as soon as possible just waiting for this one month to get over but this one last month showed some other images of life. After when he realized he would get married again he came to me asking one last time for this relation but I denied cause I know everything will finish when my father will refuse him after my proposal and I'm pretty sure about it. If not now then I'll hurt him more at that time so it's better to separate now only rather to get worse in future. We used to met each other before our lectures begun but not in relationship just as friends. Before I used to sit next to him but now I used to sit in front of him maintaining good distance unless he ask me to sit beside him and I forcefully sat beside him. Now he started laughing, taunting some time he used some bad words for me also like I'm characterless I'm cheap and the worst one was 'you cheated me' this one he said seriously but then fake laugh but I can sense pain in his laugh it's hard to smile in pain also but he's smiling like earlier but last for few days only. Days were growing with smiles, cheers, and fake taunts but limited to few days that we both know. Everything has a end this unnamed relationship also, when a girl came from his native place to move ahead with their relations. It was hurting to see him talking another girl but he never destined to be with me. His marriage was decided after 1 month and I want to run from this place that's it but can't. I have to give my exams and all. Days were begin to end only few more days then my tuition classes will over. We get holidays during exams to learn at home and as it was 10 so this is our last class after it we will leave this place forever. That girl who came to see him left and again he is with me sharing his bad meeting with that girl. I used to tease him 'no girl can stay with you 'he questioned me and my reply used to 'I'm exceptional you know... 'he used to get irritated by it and now I can't say this ever. It was ending and now it was more worst to handle my emotions.