Fated (A Chris Evans Series)

The Letter

It was expected Denise would skip the date with Sam after seeing Chris at her doorstep. She thought she could distract herself with another man, but she couldn't; she couldn't pretend to be interested in someone she only saw as a friend. He was a great guy who would've been enough for her if Chris wasn't circulating her orbit. If she were to compare him to the other guys she'd agreed to date before she met the man of her dreams, Sam would've been a wholesome ten. He shared her interests, genuinely cared about her, made her laugh, and was always such a gentleman. She would've been lucky to date him, and she wouldn't have minded if she had to date him but that shouldn't have been how it felt.

Falling in-love shouldn't have felt like a chore, or a settlement. There had to be a spark, an unforeseen magic that could be felt every time two people were together. It was meant to feel exciting and passionate, but it didn't feel like that with Sam. Denise may have felt comfortable and safe with him, but that was all she felt. Sam could've kissed her and she would've felt nothing because her mind would be thinking about Chris and how his lips would feel on hers instead. It didn't matter if none of the time she spent with Chris were accounted as dates, every flitting second was filled with an indescribable fervor unmatched by any guy she'd been with. She realized when she said yes to Sam that she shouldn't have. Now she'd hurt the feelings of the nicest guy in her class because she was too scared to tell Chris she was in-love with him.

And now she was too late.

Since Denise couldn't go home in fear she'd run into Chris, she spent her time wandering a mall instead. Habitually she turned to the power of retail therapy and bought things she didn't need to distract herself. After accumulating copious shopping bags, she sought out the cinema to watch a movie alone. 'Gifted' was the movie she decided to watch; it was one she'd seen thrice before and should've avoided at all costs while she was vulnerable. She was fortunate there weren't many people watching a 8:50PM movie on a Thursday night because she sobbed like a baby and it wasn't just because of the movie's emotional content.

The second Chris appeared on the screen, Denise broke down. The idea of meeting the one and knowing she wasn't going to get the life she dreamed of when she finally met her soulmate crushed her. What made it worst was her soulmate turned out to be her celebrity crush; she'd expected so much that she realized now wouldn't be an actuality. A cute proposal with an eventual big white wedding seemed unobtainable. The suburban house with the white picket fence would only exist in her imagination. She wouldn't be blessed with the sight of mini versions of themselves running around. He wouldn't surprise her with spontaneous trips to Rome. The concept of them being a power couple and taking home six Oscars with the film they made together would only remain a concept. She wasn't even going to get to experience something as simple as dancing with him in their backyard while listening to Ed Sheeran's 'Perfect', because life wasn't perfect and she couldn't just write a story and expect it all to come true.

The movie ended around 11:00PM, forcing her to return to her apartment in a cab. When she finally turned on her phone, she saw text messages from both Luca and Chris. Luca had sent her about five because she was understandably worried and confused by the absence in the apartment. It was a coffee date that started at 1:30PM, Luca had expected her home by 4:00PM at the latest because she knew her best friend. Denise wasn't the type to prolong anything on the first date, especially considering the one she was with wasn't the one she loved.

Denise quickly sent Luca an "I'm okay, on my way home," then sat quietly as she thought of a reply to Chris' "are you okay?" It took her a good five minutes to type out a simple "no, we need to talk." Her thumb hovered over the 'send' button for another five minutes as she read and reread her response. It was remarkable; the power and angst that encompassed her five little words. She questioned if she was egomaniacal enough to choose now to tell him how she felt. Now that he was in a good relationship with someone he could effortlessly spend the rest of his life with. She couldn't ruin that for him. There was substantial, concrete evidence a relationship with Scarlett would work out for him, there wasn't any for a relationship with her. She implored herself to be selfless for once and put the happiness of another above her own. It winded her to delete the five little words; a symbolic movement bidding goodbye to the life she'd sell her soul for. With a deep breath, she responded with "I'm perfect" though she felt "I'm delusional" was the more applicable.