Shades of Gray ♡ Michael Nesmith

Chapter 10

"Being forced to stay in a loveless marriage was tearing me apart inside. Everyone had convinced me that it would be the band's best bet if I didn't pursue a young girl and stuck with my wife. I was told I would seem as though I was a creep for being with someone so much younger than me and that people who watched the show enjoyed the idea that I on screen I was a single happy man, but off screen I was married with a family and not to mention happy.
The thing was, I wasn't happy in the marriage. I felt as though I was tied down to something that was rotten, dead, and toxic. The relationship with Phyllis had broken down quite a lot when the pictures of Nat and I broke across magazines and the Monkees fan groups. It was already a mess by that time, but there was no way to get out of it now with the second baby on the way.
Honestly between you and I, I didn't even mean to get Phyllis pregnant! I needed sex and I couldn't go to Nat asking her to have sex at a young age. She couldn't have had her first time right? Although I can't assume that she's a pretty young girl and she could've surely had a guy in Texas, no doubt about that. I really shouldn't be thinking about doing sexual things with a teenager. I seem like creep doing it.
But all I'm thinking each time I look at Phyllis is... What am I doing hanging 'round?" The Texan's fingers clasped around the pen as he sat alone writing in a journal. He had recently picked up on the habit again of writing everything down although it wasn't like the poems he was use to writing it was his true feelings. He needed some way to express them especially recently with Natalie running through his mind every spare moment he had. He couldn't leave his pregnant wife, because then he would look like a complete asshole! He also couldn't leave the girl of his dreams hanging around for another guy to snatch her up. It had been hell for him the last few months not getting to hear her angelic voice or the way she laughed when he said something stupid. In just a few sort months it would be summer and for all he knew she could spend time at the beach and be scooped up by some handsome guy. He just couldn't let her get away and needed to find some way to be with her.

Summer of '68

Natalie's P.O.V:

Sophie and Evelyn decided for me that the summer was going to be the time that found someone new and left Michael Nesmith in the dust. I felt that though I would get over him though, everything about him was perfect. His sideburns that gently caressed each cheek, his bangs that gently flowed down along his forehead, his goofy crooked smile, and that accent killed me every time he spoke. The girls though were determined to find me someone else, in which meant spending most of our time at the beach where much pretty all the popular girls were spending their time with their boyfriends and flirting with other guys.
Our first day there I dawned a yellow two piece bathing suit where the bottoms came up over my belly button and the top was like a standard bra. I had a yellow sundress on with matching sandals and my brown hair was pulled up off my neck. The girls were waiting patiently for me and I grabbed a bag stuffing my towel in there quickly walking to them. "Let's go!!" Sophie yelled throwing on her sunglasses and running out the back door of her parents beach house we were staying at. I laughed and followed her quickly the two others trailing not fair behind. There was already a large amount of people gathered in different areas under umbrellas and different radios playing from different places too.
We spend most of the day on the beach and I was having a great time until someone pegged me in the back of the head with a volleyball. I gripped the back of my head and looked around to see who had just hit me. Suddenly shock hit me like that volleyball as I saw the man who had changed my world many months ago. Michael Robert Nesmith. He realized it was me and froze. "Nat, oh my god, I didn't mean to hit you with the ball. I mean it was Peter but y'know. Are you alright?" He asked me and bit his lip. I couldn't speak and tears started to form with the lump in my throat. "Natalie, are you okay?" He asked putting his hand on my arm. I retracted my arm and walked down the beach quickly thinking I was leaving him behind but he followed me trying to talk to me once more.
"Michael! Leave me alone, I don't want to-" He stopped me by pressing his lips against mine holding me close to him because we were in a more private area. My heart both shattered and filled but I wrapped my arms securely around the Texan's neck and pressed my lips against his as well as my body. After what seemed like forever he slowly pulled away and pressed his head on mine.
"I can't be without you." He muttered.