Chaotic [Bellamy Blake]

I'm Never Gonna Leave You

           The next morning was a hard one. Cassius had woken up an hour before Bellamy and Charlotte. The fog had cleared, and she sat quietly with a severely burned hand holding on to her own. Tears slid down her cheeks as she quietly sobbed. "I'm sorry. I tried to get to you. I tried." Atom stared up at her. His tears made him hiss in pain as they hit his cheeks. He tried to talk but only ended up choking on his words. Cassius tried her best to whisper words of encouragement. "Shh, Atom. Help is on their way. I'm not going to leave you again. I promise." Atom tried his hardest to smile up at her without groaning in pain. Cassius gave his hand as gentle squeeze. "I'm not going to leave you."

       Atom stared up at Cassius as she watched him choke on his on blood. His hot tears refused to stop their flow no matter how much pain it caused him. He was grateful for the comfort that his leader was trying to give him, but right now all he wanted was for everything to stop. Images of Octavia flashed through his mind. He remembered all the times he had caught her smiling at him when she thought he wasn't paying attention. He remembered the pure awe he felt when he found her in the butterfly field. He remembered the bliss and wonder on her face; the mischief in her eyes. He remembered how soft her lips were when they met his. His time with Octavia was the closest he had ever come to experiencing love. Cassius' silent crying was beginning to annoy him. Atom didn't need anyone to pity him. He didn't need anyone to cry for him. He didn't want sympathy. All Atom wanted was a nap. He was suddenly feeling very tired. 

        Cassius barely acknowledged the soft footsteps and terrified scream that came from Charlotte as the small girl spotted Atom. Bellamy's thundering feet was heard shortly after. Atom gave a heavy sigh. Surely Bellamy would be able to give him what he needed. He watched as Charlotte handed Bellamy a small knife. "Don't be afraid", he heard her whisper. Atom grew tired of waiting in his own pain and miserable agony. "Kill me", he whispered to the best of his ability. His lungs burned. It felt as if he had smoked 100 acid cigars in one sitting. He coughed up a spout of blood. "Please. Please kill me."  Atom needed to rest. Bellamy hesitated as a few tears escaped his eyes. Atom is his friend; his comrade. Bellamy always spoke of needing to be the one to make tough decisions, but he wasn't sure if he could really kill the boy.

                Clarke came tumbling on to the scene. She saw a half dead Atom, a frozen Charlotte, and a scared Bellamy. What surprised her the most was the sight of Cassius crying silently while holding on to Atom's hand while whispering words of encouragement. Clarke said nothing as she knelt beside Atom's head. "Cassius found him", Bellamy said. Clarke nodded and checked over Atom's burns. She sighed in frustration while shaking her head at Cassius and Bellamy. Cassius choked back another sob and turned back to the group of hunters. "Everyone head back to camp." She was surprised at how strong her voice sounded when all she wanted to do was fall into a dark abyss of despair. She turned to Charlotte with a stern look in her eye. "You too, kid." The group walked away without another word needing to be said. Cassius turned back to Atom with a small smile. "We're going to help you now."  For the next few moments that came after Cassius had done her best to block out all the sounds of the world. She took the time to imagine a place where Atom roamed happy and carefree. That was all she truly wanted for him, herself, and the rest of her people. Atom was put to peace that morning.

               Cassius waited in Bellamy's tent that night. She didn't want to be there to break the news to Octavia. It was a completely selfish decision on her part, but she couldn't bare to look her friend in the eyes and explain that she was the reason Atom wasn't saved. That if she had stayed in camp then Bellamy would have gone back for Atom instead of herself. Cassius was, for lack of better word, guilty. The guilty feeling quickly passed, though. She didn't want to blame herself for something she had no control over. She had no idea that Atom would die. She had no idea that she would be affected so heavily by losing someone she had only known for a few days. She most certainly didn't know that all this would lead to her making the decision of letting her best friend battle this alone. All the guilt she previously felt turned into sadness and anger, although she wasn't quite sure exactly what she was angry about. Her mind was a state of disaster and all she wanted was an outlet to let her electric emotions flow through.