Before i fall

Chapter 10

Dalawang araw,dalawang araw na ang lumipas simula ng mag kasagutan kami ng mga salita  or should i say palalitan ng mga masasakit na salita.

Paano mo ba malalaman kung nagmamahal ka?. . .

Ano ba ang pakiramdam ng minamahal?. . .

Eh yung nagmamahal?. . .

Pag-Ibig? Love? they define it in a lots of sweet sentences,they give it a rhyming qoutes,they named it like precious thing on earth. . especially those people who already find their partners,its like a gold bar for all. From good or bad things,from people to animals and even to environment love is the most powerful thing on earth.Can you imagine that thing?its a very big thing that doesn't exist,How ironic that it makes the world go round and easily changes peoples lives.

When i was a kid my mom always told me how much he love dad and no doubt they both prove how much they love each other but time passes by,i grew up and their love is slowly fading like a burning paper,a useful became useless a glass became shattered a bubble was lost a normal became crazy a smart turns to stupid. . .just like my parents love they make me believe that love conquers all evil and all bad existing things on earth,day passed i see their coldness in each other the colorful life was gone bad the happy family i used to be was lost and became  emotionless those happy moments that we build the times that we shared as a family was all gone without any reasons that's why here i am. . . .grew up all alone,i became independent daughter since my brother migrated to other country to continue his life and pursue his dreams he leave me with a tear escape in his eyes while me?after he leave the house i was invisible to them they became busy all day along like there's no daughter who needs their company and attention until time come that i used to be alone,then i found out my self hanging out with street people i'm having fun with them,i used drugs wasting money,drink,smoke and my sport Drag Racing and oh i forgot my life. . .Music.My life's been wasted and its because of them all.

Gusto kong matawa sa sitwasyon ko ngayon,sino bang mag aakalang ang warfreak na kagaya ko ay maiinlove sa isang estranghero?would you even believe that i'm in love with nothing? i don't even know if that man loves me back.Can you imagine you as your self loving for nothing?its just like a auction you were sell but no one buys you in short no ones interested with how shit is that,Kz tandingan song 'Mahal ko O Mahal ako' in my situation it doesn't leave me no choice in short again 'AKO LANG ANG NAGMAMAHAL' for a hundred times around naiwan nanaman akong mag isa..nakakalungkot isipin na kahit sandali lang ako dito natutunan kong magmahal naramdaman ko ulit kung pano mahalin ng isang nanay kahit di ko kadugo nakakalungkot balikan ang mga masasayang araw na magkasama kami ng taong minahal KO sandaling panahon himala may minahal ako.

Bumangon ako sa pagkakahiga at inayos ang buong mukha ko alam kong magang maga ang mukha ko ngayon dahil sa buong araw na kakaiyak,i see my reflection in the mirror i was thiner than before i get more bags under my eyes my skin becomes more paler but still my  cheeks are red as ever my lips become more red now seriously?i look like a human Ghost. . . .ghost. . .

Napagdesisyunan ko ng bumaba hindi nako nag abalang ayusin ang sarili ko,i let out a sigh before going out.Pag bukas ko ng pinto ay nanikip[ agad ang dibdib ko bakit sya nasa tapat ng kwarto ko?