Little Did You Know

Caught in a circle of misery

WARNING: This chapter contains violence and rape. It's not for the faint-hearted. I will put a short summary of this chapter in the beginning of the next.

"Where have you been Lexa?"

"Finn." Lexa let out the breath she had held for a few seconds. "You're back. You shouldn't have been back until tomorrow noon."
"Lexa." He got up from his chair he placed right in the middle of the room to be able to watch to the door. "Where the hell have you been! Didn't I explicitly forbid going out when I'm not around?" He came closer, causing Lexa's heart to beat faster.

"I was at Raven's. My mum needed help with finding the right dress for her date. And honestly I can hardly say no when my mother wants me to come around?"
Finn snorted.
"You didn't ask for my permission."

Lexa glanced to the side and detected an half empty vodka bottle and an empty glass filled with cubes. He had been drinking. She hated it when he was drinking because he became more violent and impulsive.

"You we're drinking. You should go to bed Finn. I'm here now and nothing happened, I will join you after I had a shower alright?" She gave him a little smile in hope  he would calm down. He nodded but as soon as Lexa turned around to put off her shoes, his aggression came back.
"Whose jacket is this!!" He came closer to Lexa again with an angry expression on his face that Lexa caught her breath.

"It's Raven's" she answered, trying to stay calm and show him she wasn't afraid. He hated it when she was afraid and even less when she was crying. He would become even more violent.
"She gave it to me because I forgot mine and it's freezing outside. Everything is alright baby." She gave him another smile and he nodded again. His expression became softer.
"Alright, I'm being paranoid."
"It's alright." She said. "Go to bed honey, I'll join you soon."
She took off the jacket and threw it over a kitchen chair. While Finn trudged slowly towards the bedroom, Lexa walked into the bathroom and stripped.

She avoided looking in the mirror and seeing all the bruises she had hidden underneath her clothing. She didn't find herself attractive anymore either because she lost a lot of weight and got skinnier with every year. Finn didn't want her to eat much and she had accepted it since she wanted to look beautiful for him. Yet, she could never be enough nor satisfy him.

Lexa stepped into the shower and turned on the water. The hot water felt amazing on her skin. She could finally relax and enjoy every drop of water that fell on her skin and quickly glided down her body.
She reflected the time she spent with Clarke this day again and smiled to herself. With Clarke she felt different, more like the person she truly was inside. She could laugh from the heart and be happy, not that she wasn't happy with Finn..she was, right?

Suddenly the shower was opened and before Lexa could even process what was happening, she was grabbed by her hair and pulled out of the shower. She quickly turned around with an expression of pure fear on her face, a deadly mistake.
"YOU LIAR." He shouted at her. "YOU SAID IT'S RAVEN'S JACKET BUT SINCE WHEN DOES SHE HAVE BLONDE HAIR?!" He held up a single blonde hair and waved it in front of her face.
Lexa's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry.." she whispered, hoping he would stop.
"I'm sorry," he mimicked and stared at her before he shook his head again. "You're not sorry. You're nothing but a bitch."
He reached out, trying to grab her, and she ducked, trying to flee. Unfortunately, he was ready for her and there was nothing she could do, nowhere to run. She only reached the corridor near the door.
Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain in her back and she collapsed to the ground. She gasped, her vision blurry and slowly starting to get black dots in the corner of her eyes. The pain shot through her whole spine and through her legs and arms. Her world was spinning and turning in circles so that Lexa couldn't even try to get up because every movement could end in unconsciousness.