Hello, Goodbye

02: Grace

“You’re disappearing again,” her mother says as she walks out of her room for dinner with her head hung, her eyes staring at the ground in front of her. She knows what her mum means. You’re pulling away from the world again, you’re running away from your problems. She could feel her mother’s harsh brown eyes softening for her. She wants to look up but she can't. She can only think about that boy, Andrew, who had been the first to speak to her, the first to notice her.

In all honesty she had been staring at his friend, the boy with the shaggy blonde hair and slumped shoulders. They had met eyes repeatedly and she had no idea what to do but look away and pretend he didn’t even exist.

Andrew had followed her before she could even head out of the building. She didn’t know what to do. The words, don’t let people in, they’ll just disappoint you, had rushed into her head. She knew the truth in those words. The only people she ever let in just hurt her. Besides her mother, the only people she’s befriended or become close to – her brother and father, included – have just let her down. “Hi,” she said, weakly.

“Hey, Grace,” he breathed, his breath sweet and cranberry-scented. He ran his hand through his short dark hair. His hazel eyes stared at her, she felt it. She could always feel when people were looking at her, acknowledging her. She hadn’t felt it at all until she had locked eyes with Andrew’s friend. Looking at the two of them and comparing them, she knew who everyone preferred.

His friend, of course. Andrew was small and thin and seemed pathetic at sport. He cooked his own chocolate bars, for goodness sake! “Just wanted to say that I think you’re an amazing person and, um, bye, see you tomorrow.” He had said everything so quickly that she had to take a moment to register his words.

“Oh, um, thank you.” She glanced up at him and said goodbye. She had enjoyed conversing with him, but it was so embarrassing to have let out that laugh, but she had to. She couldn’t stop thinking about it though, on her way home.

She walked the whole way because she didn’t want to get on the bus. It wasn’t too far and her leggings weren’t even all that thin. She could just imagine that cheerleader and her friend’s walking home half-freezing to death.

“Grace?” her mother’s voice cuts into her flashback and regrets. She shakes her head and looks at her mum in confusion. “Did you make any friends?” she asks, sounding exasperated. Grace nods. Was Andrew a friend? “Yes or no? I have to get to work.” She starts to panic, over nothing, really.

“Yes,” she replies. Her mother turns away with her coffee and walks over to her makeshift office, which is in the place where their television set would have been if her father and brother still lived with them. She’s wearing a pencil skirt and peep-toe shoes with miniature heels, like her broken-down English teacher, who she has extreme sympathy for. She is wearing a blue and white striped blouse. Her black hair was in a sleek ponytail.

“Did you have an interview today?” she asks quietly. Her mother nods, not looking back but sitting down and opening her laptop. She’s a migration agent with her own business, self-employed and needing to work out all of the details alone. She asks for no help but instead stays up until three in the morning doing work.

“Yeah. But remember, no details allowed. Confidentiality.” Grace nods understandingly. She walks to their room. Three rooms were in the house. The two extra rooms connected to the large office-kitchen-dining area. The other room is the bathroom, with the toilet installed in it. There was only a shower, a sink and a toilet.

The bedroom wasn’t particularly large, with one simple study table for Grace and two single beds. Grace knew that the reason their house was so small was because they really didn’t need much more and because her father didn’t think he needed to pay child support because her mother wasn’t, and he was caring for Anthony, her brother.