Hello, Goodbye

06: Grace

“How was school?” Grace almost responds because of her mother’s soft tone. It’s an unusual event, but she doesn’t respond anyway. She figures her mother knows why she is down in the dumps. Her mother pushes a lock of her dark, thick hair away from her face, standing. She remains in a business-like stature, stiff and emotionless. Her makeup is simple; thin eyeliner, a thin layer of clear lip gloss, some blush and of course, foundation and concealer. Grace stares at her for a moment. And then she walks on past. Into their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

She tosses her bag down, and the books she had had in her hands. She hears her mother’s voice faintly, it’s muffled by the thick walls and the locked door. She doesn’t even know why she bothered to lock the door. Her mother would never bother to come into their room and check on her. Her expectations become a reality when there is no knock on the door. As per usual, her mother has run away from her. Gone to her safe haven, the only thing she knows; work.

Grace fumbles with her phone, scrolling through her contacts as tears blur her vision. She scrolls back up when she realises she has changed his name on her phone from Totoro to Anthony. She stares at his contact, replaying the words said in their conversation the night earlier. She throws her phone across the room, hoping that nothing breaks. Her phone rings and she lunges toward it, not checking who is calling as she answers. “Totoro?” she says eagerly.

“Who? Are you okay, Grace?” The boy’s voice is calm and collected. Grace is shocked.

“How did you get my number?” she demands, though her voice is weak and filled with tears. She hears his soft chuckle. She pictures him holding his phone against his ear, the corners of his eyes crinkling and his smile toothless and cute.

“You gave it to me last week.” She sighs. Why, why, why did she give her number to anyone; especially someone who she’d only recently met? “You don’t remember?” he chuckles.

“Why are you calling?” she asks, her tone level but her voice shaking in nervousness and the corners of her eyes stinging with tears. Why isn’t her brother on the line? Why is the nice boy, Saxon, who she was amazingly rude to that very morning, on the line instead?

“You just seemed…down today.” She presses her lips together, nodding to herself as more tears gather in her eyes. She suppresses the urge to let out an ear-piercing scream followed by a fit of sobs. Down? Down is an understatement. Her whole world is falling apart. There’s no more joy anymore. No more happiness. No more anything.

“Yeah. I was just thinking, you know?” She imagines him, leaning against a pole at school, his arms folded and his green eyes beautiful and full of kindness and care.

“I don’t know, Grace,” he finally responds after a long, inevitable silence. She knows the excuse isn’t believeable. “How can someone block everyone out for so long and be so down and whatever because they’re thinking?”

“Well, how can someone beat their best friend and then not say sorry afterwards?” He scoffs. “Well, how, Saxon?” She’s trying to keep her voice down but her emotions are getting the better of her. She’s sad, and that also means she’s angry. She’s angry at Saxon because he’s judging her when really he should be the one getting judged by everyone. He beat the crap out Andrew and didn’t say sorry.

“He’s not my best friend. He’s a wannabe jock who can’t accept that he is a part of one of the richest families in town. He lives in his family’s garage, Grace. He acts like a rebel at home because he doesn’t like his wealthy family. And, damn it, Grace, he can’t accept me for me.” His voice quietens, breaking and quivering. “I defended you. I let you read in peace.”