Hello, Goodbye

14: Grace

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His words ring in her ears. Filled with desperation and longing. And all she could do was walk away. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” she tells her teacher, though to her own ears, she sounds distant and her eyes aren’t focusing on anything. She takes a seat, attempting gracefulness. No one looks at her weirdly, questioningly. She stares at her notebook, twirling a pen between her forefinger and middle finger.

“Grace, would you like to take a step outside? Breath in a little fresh air?” Her eyes meet the teacher’s, they’re full of kindness and sympathy. She glances around the room at the eyes boring into her, judging her, making her feel claustrophobic and helpless. She nods briefly and gathers her belongings, rising to her feet. Her eyes stay staring at the ground. She walks out the classroom not looking back.

She bumps into someone with a familiar smell. She doesn’t register the smell as anything but familiar until moments later, so she looks up expecting Saxon, her heart skipping a beat but her eyes filled with cold disdain. When she sees the familiar face, she softens, letting their arms envelop around her.

“What’d he do to you Grace?” they ask as they walk outside.

“What are you doing here?” she sniffles. The air is warm and the scent of flowers fill her nostrils. They chuckle. “How are you not in hospital right now, Anthony?”

“The nurse is in her car in the car park. I begged her to let me talk to you. I’ll be going home after this. But the nurse will check up on me all the time, she’ll be almost like my carer.” He squeezes her shoulder and she realises for the first time his arm across her shoulders. She lets a small smile slide onto her lips, weak but sincere. “So, what’s happened, little sister?”

“I don’t know, anymore. Saxon was telling me something but they just went in one ear and out the other, passed straight over my head.” The lie hurt to tell. “Telling me that he’s sorry, or something.” She recalls every word he had spoken. “I don’t want to think about it.” But she knows that it is the only thing she can think about.

“Alright. I heard the teacher send you out. Do you know why she did?” His voice is gentle. They sit on a bench by the car park and give a little wave to the nurse, who is focused on a book in her lap.

“I was distant, probably. Yeah, that’s probably why.” She wants him to go. He hurt her. “Anthony…”

“What’s wrong, Grace?” He pulls her head gently onto his shoulder. “You know, I love you. And I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. I don’t want that boy Saxon in your life anymore. He’ll only cause you more pain, you know that, don’t you?” She nods a little into his bony shoulder, inhaling the stale smell of the hospital.

“You should go now, Anthony. I can handle myself.” He pulls away from her, standing and staring at her, big brown eyes full of concern. She wants to be angry at him, to yell at him. But the words die at her tongue.

“I know you can,” he says quietly. “Just, if he comes near you…tell me.” He pauses before walking away. She watches as the nurse drives him home. Tears fill her eyes. The bell rings in her ears, signalling the next lesson. English. And maybe her next actions are due to her still being angry at Anthony, deep down, or maybe they result from her naturally impulsive decision making.

But she does it anyway. She runs inside and into the English classroom, not a moment too late. She almost dives in and kisses him full on the lips but she settles for a little peck on the lips as she strides past him and into the classroom, patting the seat beside him, smiling sweetly. His reaction is priceless. He stares after her and a cocky smile makes its way onto his lips.