Hello, Goodbye

Epilogue: Grace

{ unedited } 

She’s sitting on the edge of his bed, eyes teary. His are too, but he’s trying to hide them. “That’s the car, I guess,” he says, his voice quiet. “It’s a van and mum agreed to you and Anthony coming with us to say goodbye.” Grace nods mutely as she forces a smile onto her face.

“I don’t want you to go, Saxon. Stay. With me.” She remembers the last time she’d pleaded with him – it felt like a lifetime ago, though it had only been the week before. At school, she’d begged him and begged him.

“I told you already – I’m going.” He sounds firm, but his eyes and expression say he wants to say otherwise. He holds his hand out to Grace, indicating that he’d much like to take his backpack from her.

“No, you take your two suitcases – I’ll take this.” She smirks, a cheeky look in her eyes. “I mean, really,” she repeats, “Only two suitcases? You’re moving to Europe. To another country – another continent. At least bring everything.” He laughs now, a proper laugh.

“Babe –” he breaks off as she winces. “Not good?” She shakes her head. “Grace, this is everything. When we first moved when I was younger, I only had one suitcase. I slowly built it up as I got more clothes which were bulkier and thicker and bigger.” He reaches out his hand again. Grace slings the backpack onto her bag and takes his hand in hers. “You would,” he mutters with a smile.

The drive is almost silent, only the gentle hum of music to keep them company. Grace knows not to say anything, to just hold Saxon’s hand and to rest her head on his shoulder and breath him in to try and remember his scent for the days, weeks, months and years without him. The thought of years without him makes her clutch his hand tighter.

She hears Anthony grunt from beside her and she sighs. He had to come, didn’t he? Had to make everything awkward – had to ruin her final goodbye. She twists her head to glare at him but he just smiles. “Oh, hello, lovebird. Finally noticing me?” Saxon glances over but knows better than to intervene in a sibling argument.

“Anthony, shut up,” she hisses. He shrugs and turns to face out the window. The airport pulls into view and Grace finds herself clutching onto Saxon tighter than ever now. She almost restrains him from being able to exit the car, if only he hadn’t been so strong and fit. He laughs as he pries her off of him and ducks out of the car, offering her a hand to help her out too.

She takes his hand and doesn’t let it go. The air inside the airport is cold and stale. It smells of leather and sweaty passengers. People are milling about everywhere, some foreigners are yelling in other languages at American guards, who simply stare at them, dumbfounded. Clinging to Saxon, she picks up some Korean. Lead us to the gate! one woman screams.

“I love airports,” Anthony chuckles, pointing at the woman Grace had heard. “Especially ones like this one, where it seems as if no guards actually know any other language. It’s amusing, especially if you know the other language being yelled.”

“I wish you were the one leaving,” Grace mutters under her breath but Saxon puts a finger up to his lips to silence her. She chuckles. “Trust you to be nice to the one person who hates you,” she says, speaking into is jumper.

“Our gate,” Saxon says, pointing upwards with the arm that Grace is not clinging to. He can’t seem to say much more and when he turns to face her, she can see why. Tears are glazed over his eyes and his jaw is clenched.

“Don’t. Don’t try this, Saxon, don’t try to hide your tears.” He turns away from her as a tear falls. He swipes at it harshly. “Hey, baby, hey.” He grimaces. “That’s not okay either, I know, but I don’t care. It’s okay to fall apart right now, it’s okay. Just don’t give up hope that we’ll be together again soon.”