Hello, Goodbye

03: Saxon

“You know, I could’ve said it.” Saxon stops ignoring him then, and he stops walking also. He turns to face his friend and almost punches the poor guy in the face. Instead, he grabs his shoulders and rams him into the nearest lockers. The crash of his lanky body against the metal gets people’s attention. They are going to be crowded soon, so he had to be quick or else Andrew would never forgive him for ruining his 'reputation'.

“Shut up about how you should’ve said it and how she’s oh-so perfect and how her only imperfection is how much perfume she puts on. Because I know, okay? I’ve been near her and you’re wrong. She smells great and I am allowed to speak whenever and whatever I want, okay? So, get away from me for the day while I try to cool down.” He hears the chanting of fight, fight, fight! Behind him but he pays them no attention as he releases his friend and walks away, pushing past the people who are surrounding them in a thin semi-circle.

He almost rams into Grace, who is too short to have seen any of the commotion. She looks up and side-steps but grabs onto his arm. “Hey,” she says. “What’s wrong?” He must’ve looked angry, or maybe like he’d just killed someone. He tries to relax and wipe the emotion off of his face but she doesn’t look down towards the floor so he thinks he might still look angry.

“Andrew was being annoying,” he replies, his tone almost whiny. “He just,” he pauses, running his hand through his hair and exhaling loudly through an o-shaped mouth. “He won’t shut up about how I corrected your last name and how perfect you are and whatever else.” She looks away from him and lets go of his arm, her hand finding her opposite arm and gripping it so hard that her knuckles turn white.

“Oh,” she says simply and turns to walk away. He feels so stupid that when she lets her arms hang loosely by her side as she goes to walk away, he grabs her arm in his large hand and sort of just examines the way her whole arm just cradles itself in his hand. Not like he’s a giant, but more like she’s an elf, or a gnome.

Precious and rare and beautiful and unique. He used to have a Chinese friend, who was all skin and bones. Not with the baby fat that Grace had. Saxon and Andrew had always just wrapped their fingers – no, their thumb and pinky – around their friend’s wrist and laughed about how their pinky and thumb touched.

“I’m sorry for saying that, it sort of just slipped out. It’s just that when he likes a girl, he won’t shut up about them. And, usually, I can tune him out but he involved me too much, saying how I shouldn’t have corrected your last name for the teacher.” He thought he had gone too far.

“Okay.” And then she walks away. And then he thinks about how he’s just ruined everything. And then he thinks about how much he wants her to just turn around and give him a hug and kiss him on the cheek. Or better yet, the lips.

“Why are you home so early?” his mother asks. She’s washing the dishes and he can hear the television playing from the living room. Two sounds seem to be clashing, his younger brother must’ve come early by faking sickness again.

“Why’s Parker already home?” he retorts, though his voice is not harsh. Her mother stares at him until finally he sighs and responds properly, “Andy was annoying me, so we got into a fight and I told him to leave me alone for the day until I cooled down.”

“So, that’s why you’re not at Andy’s house?” her mother exclaimed, astonished. “Boy! Get your head together! Go over there and apologise immediately! Before he finds a new best friend!” Sometimes he feels as if his parents just don’t want him in the house.

They do, of course, have a twenty one year old daughter who won’t leave and a nine year old son who hates school. Saxon’s always been their least problematic child. But only because he’s never shared his problems with them. Who are they to have to know his problems? Who cares if they’re his parents? It’s not his right to burden them, nor is it Jemila’s or Parker’s, but they do anyway.